Overview

Lifelong luddite Treena Orchard was a newly sober woman coming off a much-needed break from relationships, reluctantly taking the digital plunge by downloading a dating app. Instead of the fun, easy experiences advertised on swiping platforms, she discovered endless upkeep, ghosting, fleeting moments of sexual connection, and a steady flow of misogyny. In Sticky, Sexy, Sad, Orchard uses her skills as both an anthropologist who studies sexuality and a sex-positive feminist to explore what it feels like to want love while also resisting the addictive pull of platforms designed to make us swipe-dependent. She asks important questions for those searching for love in the modern era: What are the social and human impacts of using dating apps? How can we maintain our integrity and warm-blooded desire for intimacy while swiping? Can we resist some of the problematic aspects of swipe culture? Is love on dating apps even possible? Revealing how dating apps are powerful social and sexual technologies that are radically transforming sexuality, relationships, and how we think about ourselves, this remarkable book cracks the code of modern romance. Told with humor and vulnerability, Sticky, Sexy, Sad is a riveting and inspiring guide to staying true to ourselves amid the digitization of love in the twenty-first century.

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9781487549305

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Reviews

"""In a warm, honest, and generously reflective voice, Treena Orchard writes an unconventional coming-of-age story about her journey as a single woman navigating today's dating app culture. Her stories and insights are candid and will resonate deeply with anyone who's ever wondered: 'What the hell am I doing on these dating apps?!'""--Joanne Orlando, author of Life Mode On: How to Feel Less Stressed, More Present and Back in Control When Using Technology ""Are dating apps designed to help us find love, or are they ingenious tools that hold out the prospect of love, while mostly delivering frustration and irritation? This engaging, smart book gives readers an insider look into how swipe culture is restructuring what sexuality and intimacy mean and how we think about ourselves in our digital age.""--Jane Boon, author of Edge Play ""Sticky, Sexy, Sad is a poignant and brave memoir that unveils the raw truth behind the enticing facade of modern dating. It's a compelling exploration of intimacy, vulnerability, and the often-overlooked aspects of online dating and a must-read for anyone who has dipped into or contemplated swiping.""--Lori A. Brotto, Professor, University of British Columbia, and author of Better Sex through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire ""If you are a woman who has ever used a dating app or wondered what they are like, Sticky, Sexy, Sad is for you. Readers will laugh, relate, and think deeply about what it means to be a sex-positive woman in today's world.""--Laurie Mintz, author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters - And How to Get It ""Midlife sex-positive feminist Treena Orchard takes us on a fascinating years-long anthropological adventure in which she hones her erotic knowledge with dozens of fascinating encounters with men (many of them much younger than her). In the process she becomes expertly attuned to the nuances of swipe culture and its messy and magnificent possibilities. Her head-spinning ride on the digital dating carousel is both exhausting and exhilarating as she valiantly seeks out the swipe of her life. I'm in awe of her unabashed lusty approach to life, love, and sex.""--Anne Bokma, author of My Year of Living Spiritually: One Woman's Secular Quest for a More Soulful Life ""Treena Orchard's experience as an anthropologist helps readers make sense of our current reality of incessantly swiping in a world fed by instant gratification and algorithms. Sticky, Sexy, Sad is also a brilliant treatise on modern dating as a person in recovery and the challenges that recovery presents in a booze-soaked dating world. If dating app swipe culture makes you feel disposable and you want to understand why, read Sticky, Sexy, Sad by Treena Orchard.""--Tawny Lara, author of Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up without the Booze ""Reading Sticky, Sexy, Sad, I found it hard to keep a smile off my face. Peering into the private reflections of someone's online dating world felt voyeuristic but was also tremendously fun. Squinting through one eye, worried for the author about the next unwanted dick pic story but then relaxing into the engaging storytelling, I think the author has done a wonderful job describing the often online search for modern love.""--Nora Loreto, author of Take Back the Fight: Organizing Feminism for the Digital Age, Spin Doctors: How Media and Politicians Misdiagnosed the COVID-19 Pandemic, and From Demonized to Organized: Building the New Union Movement ""In a digital age dominated by dating apps, Sticky, Sex, Sad emerges as a timely exploration of the profound impact these platforms have on our lives. This groundbreaking autoethnography explores the intricacies of swipe culture and cracks open the landscape of love, sex, and romance in the twenty-first century. It is a must-read that challenges us to question how these apps shape the very essence of our connections.""--Kaitlynn Mendes, co-author of Digital Feminist Activism: Girls and Women Fight Back against Rape Culture ""Profoundly honest and oddly hopeful, Orchard's memoir is an honest foray into the sultry, sloppy, and downright stupefying world of swipe culture. Whatever you're looking for - validation, commiseration, a good laugh, or a stiff kick in the pants toward love - you'll find it here.""--Lisa Wade, author of American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus ""Treena Orchard's Sticky, Sexy, Sad is a captivating exploration of modern dating that blends vulnerable storytelling with insightful commentary on technology, desire, and consent. As a family doctor focused on women's sexual and mental health, I found the book's honest narrative both enlightening and profoundly relevant. It is an essential guide for anyone navigating the complexities of relationships in the digital age.""--Sheila Wijayasinghe, physician and medical expert on The Social"

Author Information

Treena Orchard is an anthropologist and associate professor in the School of Health Studies at Western University. She researches and engages in activist debates about sexuality, gender, and health among diverse cultural and digital communities. Deeply committed to public scholarship, she regularly writes for and is featured in leading online publications, including Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, and The Conversation. Wednesday Martin is a cultural critic and #1 New York Times bestselling author of Primates of Park Avenue and Untrue.

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