Overview

Raised among strong women, butcher's benches and hard ideas about what men are meant to be, Brad Poulter grows up knowing he's different long before he has the words for it. But in late '90s small-town New Zealand, 'different' isn't discussed, it's managed. Joining the Royal New Zealand Navy offers escape, certainty and belonging. The rules are clear, the uniform fits. Silence feels like part of the job. But passing as straight comes at a cost. As deployments stack up, including service in Afghanistan during the War on Terror, the pressure of pretending collides with trauma, grief and the struggle for identity, and something gives way. From ship's galleys to combat zones, investigation rooms to leadership tables, Built For This charts a life shaped by discipline, loyalty and unspoken rules - and explores what happens when you stop accepting them. Honest, sharp and often funny, this is a memoir about masculinity - how it's built, inherited and performed - and what it takes to rebuild it on your own terms.

Full Product Details

9781991142665

Table of Contents

Reviews

""The idea of a gay bloke in uniform still messed with people's heads. And it showed. And look, I'm not saying all the homophobes are secretly gay. That line gets thrown around a bit too casually. But I do think there's something in it. That fear. That tension. That need to prove something. I recognise it. Because I was one of them. I threw out the jokes. I played the part. I made sure no one looked too closely. It wasn't because I hated gay people. I just couldn't deal with the fact that I was one. And that kind of denial can make you quietly complicit. That's the thing, I wasn't anywhere near ready to deal with it. Coming out wasn't even on my radar. I didn't have the words, let alone the courage. All I'd seen of ""being gay"" was whatever the media reckoned it looked like, glitter, sequins, stereotypes that felt about as far away from me as you could get. I didn't want to stand out. I wanted to blend in. I wanted to be one of the lads. So I adapted to survive. Loud, cocky, a bit of a womaniser, picking fights, spinning stories about sex I wasn't having. All armour, and the truth is, I'd been building that armour for a while. I built a fortress of performance, and then I lived in it, alone.""

Author Information

Brad Poulter is a New Zealand writer, veteran and culture leader. He served nearly 20 years in the Royal New Zealand Navy before moving into professional conduct and culture work within the New Zealand Defence Force. His career has included roles as a Military Police Investigator, Flight Deck Officer and Maritime Operational Evaluator, as well as time as a Senior Instructor in NZDF Leadership Development. He currently works as Programme Lead for OP RESPECT, leading the NZDF's approach to the prevention of harmful sexual behaviour, and to culture, inclusion, and professional conduct

Tab Content 6

Countries Available