Overview

Your coworker is speaking a language you do not understand. Somewhere between ""let's circle back"" and ""per my last email,"" the office stopped speaking English. This field guide translates it: 40 specimens of corporate jargon, each documented like wildlife, with its habitat, a real overheard example, its true meaning, and precise instructions for what to do about it. (Usually: survive.) Prepared with a completely straight face by the (entirely fictional) Institute for Corporate Dialectology, it's part dictionary, part comedy, and one hundred percent the funniest thing on anyone's desk. Inside you'll finally decode synergy, low-hanging fruit, touch base, deep dive, bandwidth, move the needle, quiet quitting, and dozens more, building to a grand finale on page 40: the standard 40-hour week, which the Institute has studied for decades and found to mean, officially, nothing. The perfect gag gift for: - The coworker who runs on caffeine and sarcasm - Secret Santa, white elephant, and the office swap - A new hire on day one, or a veteran on the way out - Anyone who has survived a meeting that could have been an email A caution: these phrases are load-bearing. Remove one from a meeting and the room may collapse into plain honesty.

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