Overview

A lawyer and a psychologist offer a groundbreaking divorce strategy that protects both your finances and your family. From your first thought of divorce through the final paperwork, Your Divorce Advisor takes you step by step toward a divorce that dissolves the marriage but not your dignity, your sense of family, or your financial security. Whether you hire a lawyer or a mediator, or do it yourself, this practical, direct, and empowering guide offers you the wise counsel you need for both the legal and the emotional processes of ending your marriage. Your Divorce Advisor shows you how to: -Keep a healthy perspective that leads to a successful legal strategy and recognize when emotions threaten your case -Protect your assets without destroying your family Offering: -Detailed coverage of all your legal options and guidance through every legal step, including anticipating the emotional repercussions of your decisions -More information on custody than any other divorce book, including age-appropriate custody schedules -A sample divorce agreement explained one paragraph at a time Your Divorce Advisor helps you set yourself and your family on a positive course toward a new life.

Full Product Details

Author:   Diana Mercer, J.D. ,  Marsha Kline Pruett
Publisher:   Simon & Schuster
Imprint:   Simon & Schuster
Dimensions:   Width: 14.00cm , Height: 2.50cm , Length: 21.40cm
Weight:   0.345kg
ISBN:  

9780684870687

ISBN 10:   0684870681
Pages:   368
Publication Date:   13 February 2001
Audience:   General/trade ,  General
Format:   Paperback
Publisher's Status:   Active
Availability:   In Print  
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Table of Contents

"Contents Foreword Introduction Chapter 1: The Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce: A View from the Summit Beginning at the End Overview of the Legal Process of Divorce Emotional Guideposts for Divorce Chapter 2: Planning For Success: Your Success Depends on the Path You Choose The First Steps How Do I Start the Legal Process? How Could This Be Happening to Our Family? Why Are My Feelings So Complicated? What Will My Family and Friends Think About Me? The Next Steps What Should I Do Before Leaving? What If I Can't Mobilize Myself to Do This Planning? Personal Assessment Chapter 3: Making the Initial Decisions: Charting Your Own Course What Are My Legal Options for Ending a Relationship? What Are My Options for Divorce Representation? How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Mediator? How Do I Find, Choose, and Use a Lawyer? Emotional Ramifications of Early Legal Decisions How Do I Handle the Conflicts That Arise Between Us as We Prepare to Divorce? Personal Assessment Chapter 4: Steps to Success: Taking one Hill at a Time Filing for Divorce Does It Make a Difference Who Files First? Preparing Your Spouse to Receive Divorce Papers Arranging for Service of the Papers The Mandatory Waiting Period Staying in or Leaving the House What Are the Legal Issues We Must Settle During the Waiting Period and Prior to Divorce? Alimony Property Division Personal Property in All Jurisdictions Assets How Do We Use Our Assets for Mutual Benefit? What Should We Do About Our House? Tax Considerations Fault Will Fault Issues in the Divorce Impact Asset and Property Division Even in ""No-Fault"" Divorce? If Fault Rarely Affects Asset and Property Distribution in Court, What Role Does Fault Play in the Divorce? What Will Be Happening Between My Spouse and Me During This Time? Negotiating with Your Spouse: Skills and Tips How Do I Manage My Anxiety During This Time? What If I Have Sex with My Spouse? What If I Want to Date Someone New? What Do I Do If I Want to Have a Calmer, Friendlier Divorce but My Lawyer Has Advised Me to Be Tougher? Personal Assessment Chapter 5: Evidence and Pretrial Procedures: You Can Never Be Too Prepared Putting the Evidence Together Discovery: Releases, Interrogatories, Depositions, and Subpoenas Hidden Income Personal and Fault Issues What Are the Standard Pretrial Procedures? Court-Sponsored Settlement Conferences How to Use Pretrial Process When and Why Should I Go to Trial? Effecting a Settlement Personal Assessment Chapter 6: Trials: Taking the Long, Hard Route Court Intervention What Is the Procedure in a Trial? What Counts as Evidence? What Documents Are Needed by the Court? How Can I Do Much of the Work Myself and Save the Lawyer's Fees? What Kinds of Witnesses Should I Consider? What Kinds of Discovery Can Be Used at Trial as Evidence? How Do I Prepare for the Financial Part of the Trial? If I Did Something Along the Way That May Hurt My Case, Should I Lie About It? What If My Spouse Is Lying? What Am I Likely to Be Feeling During the Trial? Personal Assessment Chapter 7: Taking Care of Myself and My Children: How Not to Get Lost The Decision to Separate How Do We Tell the Children? How Will My Children Feel and React? How Can I Best Help My Children During This Early Stage of Divorce? Will My Children Be Okay in a Divorced Family? Personal Assessment Chapter 8: Legal and Residential Arrangements: Finding Familiar Paths For Your Family What Are Our Legal Options for Raising Our Children After Divorce? Shared Parenting (Co-parenting) Versus Custody What Are the Benefits and Drawbacks of Shared Parenting? Do Children Fare Better in Shared Parenting Schedules Than in More Traditional Custody Situations? Developing a Schedule for Living Arrangements What Are the Most Common Living Arrangements and Schedules Adopted by Divorcing Parents? Are There Alternatives to the Typical Shared Parenting Plans? What Are Recommended Schedules for Children of Different Ages? Common Misconceptions in Thinking About Shared Parenting What Are the Necessary Elements of a Parenting Plan? What If We Can't Agree? What Do I Do If My Child Doesn't Want to Visit? Can I Relocate? Where Child Support Fits In What Are Child Support Guidelines? Child Support Versus Custody as a Financial Decision Where Child Support Is Spent Personal Assessment Chapter 9: Contested Custody Cases: Hazardous Territory and Loose Footing When to Consider a Custody Battle Telling Your Children About Why You Are Involved in a Court Battle The Special Features of a Contested Custody Case Evaluations of the Child and Family How Is an Evaluator Chosen? What Happens in an Evaluation? What Are the Criteria Considered in an Evaluation? How Can I Maximize My Chances of Attaining a Successful Outcome? How Does the Court Use Evaluation Recommendations? In the Event of a Trial How Do I Help My Children at This Stage? What Do I Do If I Think My Spouse Has Turned the Children Against Me? Personal Assessment Chapter 10: Domestic Violence and Other Forms of Abuse: When the Route Is Really Dangerous Definitions of Violence Patterns of Abusive Relationships Setting Clear Boundaries for Yourself and Your Children When Your Children Are Involved and Affected What If My Child Has Witnessed the Violence? Assessing and Acting When You Are at Risk How Do I Recognize Whether I Am at Risk for My Partner's Abuse or Escalating Violence? What Do I Do First? What Constitutes an Abusive Relationship as Far as the Court Is Concerned? Types of Protection Afforded by Law: Restraining Orders and Orders of Protection How Should I Prepare to Successfully Obtain a Temporary Restraining Order? How Do I Enforce the Orders with My Spouse? Both Men and Women Can Qualify for a Restraining Order What the Order Can and Cannot Do for You Children's Involvement in the Legal Process What If My Child Is the One Being Abused? Should Any Child Involved in a Violent Family Be Forbidden to See the Offending Parent? What If My Children Don't See It My Way? Emotional Blackmail of Children Abduction Personal Assessment Chapter 11: Life After Divorce: When the Horizon Beckons Anew Follow-Up Tasks To-Do List Obtain a Certified Copy of Your Final Judgment Credit Issues Health Insurance Social Security Record Keeping What Kinds of Changes May Need to Be Made in the Future? If You Do Not Have Children If You Have Children Enforcement of Orders Embarking on Your New Life How Can I Re-create the Healthiest Life for Myself and My Children? How Do I Handle Disciplining My Children? What About My Own Dating and Sex Life? How Do I Establish New Family Traditions? Will I Ever Be Free of the Court's Reach? Personal Assessment Chapter 12: Conclusions: At the Summit Appendix Resources References Index"

Reviews

Louis Parley author of The Ethical Family Lawyer Your Divorce Advisor is the most comprehensive divorce book on the market. It covers the legal issues extensively and is the only book to also tell you what you can expect to feel along the way. It offers an invaluable strategy for coping with the emotional demands of divorce, and has the best advice on talking with your kids about the divorce that I've read anywhere. It is the one book I will recommend to my divorcing clients. Forrest S. Mosten President, Mosten Mediation Centers Your Divorce Advisor brilliantly and compassionately deals with the common challenges facing anyone going through a divorce. If your marriage is in trouble, you should buy Your Divorce Advisor before you hire a lawyer. Lawyers and therapists should recommend Your Divorce Advisor before the very first client meeting. Nancy Dunnan author of Dunnan's Guide to Your Investments, 2001 We know that divorce creates problems -- for the couple, their children, their family, their friends....Mercer and Pruett have done something other experts have failed to do: They have created rock-solid solutions based on their recognition that financial and legal decisions are inextricably influenced, even governed, by emotional feelings. The result: They offer a rare combination of legal, emotional, personal, and financial advice that makes this guidebook must reading, not only for anyone going through divorce but also for anyone knowing someone who is. Janet Johnston Executive Director, Judith Wallerstein Center for the Family in Transition, and author of In the Name of the Child Your Divorce Advisor, written by a seasoned lawyer-and-psychologist team, is a gem of a guidebook that empowers divorcing adults to take control of their own divorce -- legally, financially, and emotionally. It walks the reader through the divorce process, step by step. Vital information about financial matters and state-of-the-art research about the needs of children allow the reader to make constructive decisions for themselves and for their children, setting them on the pathway toward solutions that work for everybody involved. All of this is presented in a manner that is compassionate, sensible, and most comforting.

Janet JohnstonExecutive Director, Judith Wallerstein Center for the Family in Transition, and author of In the Name of the Child Your Divorce Advisor, written by a seasoned lawyer-and-psychologist team, is a gem of a guidebook that empowers divorcing adults to take control of their own divorce -- legally, financially, and emotionally. It walks the reader through the divorce process, step by step. Vital information about financial matters and state-of-the-art research about the needs of children allow the reader to make constructive decisions for themselves and for their children, setting them on the pathway toward solutions that work for everybody involved. All of this is presented in a manner that is compassionate, sensible, and most comforting.

Forrest S. Mosten President, Mosten Mediation Centers Your Divorce Advisor brilliantly and compassionately deals with the common challenges facing anyone going through a divorce. If your marriage is in trouble, you should buy Your Divorce Advisor before you hire a lawyer. Lawyers and therapists should recommend Your Divorce Advisor before the very first client meeting.

Author Information

Diana Mercer, J.D., is a divorce mediator in Santa Monica, California, and a partner in the law firm of Noyes & Mercer, P.C., which specializes exclusively in family relations law.

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