Overview

Aggression touches all of our lives. Whether it is a customer or angry coworker, an upset family member, a fellow student at school or college, or a stranger we bump into on the street, all of us, at times, must deal with aggressive people. Ellis Amdur has become well-known for his series of profession-specific books on dealing with aggressive and emotionally disturbed individuals. These books, however, are for specialists: police, hospitals, fire/EMS, social services, to name a few. Words of Power is different. It is written for ordinary people who may, on occasion, have to deal with an angry, even an enraged person.This book was written with the help of a unique cadre of critical readers. Rather than specialists, they are people from ordinary walks of life. They share several things in common: their professions do not require them to interact on a regular basis with aggressive people; their family lives are healthy; they are not experts at self-defense or martial arts; and they lead happy lives, largely untouched by violence. Their job was to read through the original manuscript and highlight all the things that they felt they did NOT need to know. What remains is the information that ordinary people need: no more, no less. The book is simple without being simplistic. It is a comprehensive guidebook on how to de-escalate angry people and how to use verbal control tactics to manage the behaviors of enraged people. Words of Power also teaches how to develop your intuition, so that you become aware and can react before something has truly become dangerous. Most importantly, this book teaches how to calm and center yourself so that you have access to your best, most powerful qualities. You have the best chance of achieving peace when you embody peace.

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9781950678075

Table of Contents

Reviews

#1 ...be both non-threatening and non-threatened. This quote from the book is my new mantra. Actually, it's a clearly-worded formulation of my general approach to life, social interaction, and conflict. But like so much in this volume, the clarity it brings to my thoughts and feelings is empowering. Each of us has different roles in life. Some of mine include husband, father, and employee at a large public institution. In each of these roles, I have been confronted with angry individuals and conflict. Like the time someone rear-ended me while my 4 year old was in the car, and that driver tried to escalate the situation in front of my son... This book outlines why people become aggressive, and charts out how we can consciously recognize warning signs of people's behavior that can escalate from aggression, to anger, to rage, and - at the extreme - to violence. Having a clear framework for understanding motivations and behaviors gives you more control when suddenly confronted by aggression. But on top of that, this book gives clear methods for not only recognizing what's going on, but also for dealing with the different behaviors that can invade our lives. One of the real eye-openers for me was the explanation of why one shouldn't ask an angry person, What's wrong? And why techniques for dealing with an angry person are not right for a truly enraged person. Some of this is instinct for a lot of us, but I feel that having the clearly laid-out framework gives me a better grounding in anticipating and dealing with these kinds of situations. Another interesting thing about this book is the attention it gives to YOU and YOUR perspective, breathing, bearing, and integrity. It's not all about the person who is confronting you. That's where this call to be both non-threatening and non-threatened comes in. I was motivated to write this review here because I am already excited to share this book with my family and co-workers. The more people have this information, the safer -- non-threatening and non-threatened -- we'll all be. #2 This interesting and well researched and written book offers a working professional's learned insight to de-escalating aggressive individuals, but more than that, it provides a nice guide for ordinary people to find a calm center when dealing with angry and aggressive people. Amdur holds all the necessary academic and professional credentials, not to mention a lifelong study and practice in the Japanese art of Aikido. A sought after national and international Martial Arts instructor he teaches Taikyoku Aikido, offering another approach to dealing with aggressive people. This book surprised me on a few levels and I highly recommend it to those looking to find better ways of dealing with angry and aggressive people and, more so, ourselves. #3 Very useful self defense information involving how to posture oneself for self defense when dealing with aggressive people, how to breathe and center onself so as to release personal tension and anxiety after encountering such a person, and how to speak to such people. The author provides a useful twist on the standard art of listening method taught in most books and courses on listening skills. This useful twist reduces the aggressiveness of the other person and is yet another tool to prevent an attack from one. Highly recommended!

Author Information

Ellis Amdur received his BA in psychology from Yale University in 1974 and his MA in psychology from Seattle University in 1990. He is both a National Certified Counselor and a State Certified Child Mental Health Specialist. Since the late 1960s, Amdur trained in various martial arts systems, spending thirteen years studying in Japan. He is a recognized expert in classical and modern Japanese martial traditions and has authored three iconoclastic books as well as one instructional DVD on this subject. Since his return to America in 1988, Ellis Amdur has worked in the field of crisis intervention. He has developed a range of training and consultation services, as well as a unique style of assessment and psychotherapy. These are based on a combination of phenomenological psychology and the underlying philosophical premises of classical Japanese martial traditions. Amdur's professional philosophy can best be summed up in this idea: the development of an individual's integrity and dignity is the paramount virtue. This can only occur when people live courageously, regardless of the circumstances, and take responsibility for their roles in making the changes they desire. Ellis Amdur is a dynamic public speaker and trainer who presents his work throughout the United States and internationally. He is noted for his sometimes outrageous humor as well as his profound breadth of knowledge. His vivid descriptions of aggressive and mentally ill people and his true-to-life role playing of the behaviors in question give participants an almost firsthand experience of facing the real individuals in question. His books are considered unique in that he uses his own experiences, often hair-raising or outrageous, as illustrations of the principles about which he writes, but it is also backed by solid research, and boots-on-the-ground experience.

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