Overview

SO, YOU WANT TO WORK WITH A GOD. Fantastic. Have you considered the paperwork? Think it's all majestic temples and poetic epiphanies? Think again. It's more like divine flat-sharing. You're trying to meditate while Hecate reorganises your psychic crossroads, Loki hides your car keys 'for a laugh', and a neighbourhood cat army reports for duty because Freyja's popped round for a cuppa. This is the unvarnished, un-ghosted, slightly singed truth about building a relationship with a deity. Based on extensive field research (including that time the author accidentally hosted a triple-goddess summit in her back garden and permanently killed a perfect circle of lawn), this book is your essential guide. INSIDE, YOU'LL DISCOVER: Thirty divine CVs: From Hecate (CEO of the Crossroads) to Ganesha (Divine Bureaucrat), find out who does what, what they really want as an offering, and their potential for collateral damage. Practical rituals that won't require a virgin or a bull: (Logistical nightmare, both of them). Modern, manageable ways to say 'hello' without your Wi-Fi cutting out. How to tell if it's working or if you're just having a weird week: Was that a sign from Odin, or did you just forget to eat lunch? We'll help you spot the difference (hint: it often involves birds). What to do when it all goes slightly-or spectacularly-wrong: See: deceased turf, unexplained frog ambassadors, and the distinct feeling you're being judged by a pantheon. This is not a book of fluffy blessings. It's a grimoire of divine diplomacy, celestial chaos, and how to keep your houseplants alive when you've invited the god of volcanoes over for a chat. Perfect for the curious beginner, the weary adept, and anyone who's ever looked at a statue and thought, ""You seem fun. Wanna cause some respectful trouble?""

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