Overview

Loving a child is instinct. Surviving the child you love is something else entirely. When Brett and Shane opened their home to a child who had already survived more than most adults ever will, they believed love, structure, and stability could heal what the world had broken. They had read the literature. They had completed the training. They had asked the hard questions. They knew this would be difficult. They did not know what difficult actually meant. What the House Holds is a memoir about parenting on the edge of violence, navigating severe mental illness inside a home, and the impossible tension between protecting your family and loving a child you cannot save. Written by an adoptive parent with clinical insight and years of contemporaneous documentation, this book follows one family through the daily reality of raising a daughter with Reactive Attachment Disorder, dissociative features, schizoaffective disorder, and a history of severe early childhood trauma - through false allegations, psychiatric hospitalizations, insurance denials, failed supports, and the kind of exhaustion that does not feel like tiredness. What the House Holds is also a document of institutional failure - of a child welfare system that placed a child without full disclosure, of psychiatric hospitals that stabilized and discharged on a revolving door, of insurance companies that denied hospitalizations as not medically necessary, of schools and law enforcement and courts that could do very little against a child who had already mapped the limits of every available consequence. The book's closing section is a series of open letters - to her doctors, her therapists, her evaluators, the psychiatric hospitals, the insurance companies, the Department of Human Services, Congress, the police, and the schools - written in the plain language of someone who has spent years communicating through official channels and been failed by all of them. This is not a book about giving up. It is a book about what love actually costs - and what a family does when every system meant to help has failed. If you are a parent living what this book describes, it was written for you first. You are not crazy. You are not failing. You are not alone. What is happening in your house is real, and the reason no one believes you is the same reason the author had to start documenting everything: because some things are only credible when there is no other explanation left.

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Reviews

""I read this in two sittings because I could not put it down, and then I sat with it for about week because I could not shake it. What the House Holds is not a comfortable book. It is an honest one. That is rarer and more valuable."" ""The Open Letters alone are worth the price of this book. Every professional who has ever written a discharge summary, denied a claim, or closed a CPS case should be required to read them."" ""Brett Holloway has written the book I have been waiting to hand to every family I work with who feels unseen. This is the most accurate account of parenting a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder I have ever read clinical enough to be credible, human enough to be completely devastating."" ""I kept stopping to read passages aloud to my husband because I needed someone else to hear that someone had finally said it. This is the book I would have given every teacher, every therapist, every caseworker who ever looked at me like I was the problem."" ""I have never read anything that more accurately describes what these families are living, and what we, as a system, have failed to give them. This book should be required reading in every social work program in the country.""

Author Information

Brett Holloway is a pen name. He writes under a pseudonym to protect the privacy of the people who appear in his work.He writes across memoir, narrative nonfiction, fiction, children's books, and picture books. The range is intentional. He is interested in writing that earns its place regardless of genre - a memoir that tells the truth without softening it, a children's book that takes kids seriously instead of shielding them from complexity, fiction that doesn't borrow its darkness, nonfiction that keeps looking even when the subject gets uncomfortable.His debut, What the House Holds, is a memoir about parenting a child through severe mental illness - the psychiatric institutions, the child welfare systems, the specific exhaustion of loving someone through something you cannot fix. It is the first book published under Eshom Cabin Press.He is based in Oklahoma, where he founded and runs the press.

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