Overview

Three women, two generations, one family-a story of trauma, resistance, healing, and love In 1959, in Garrison, Minnesota, a twenty-six-year-old woman shot and killed her abusive husband. A few years earlier, her sister had fled with her young daughter from Texas to Minnesota to escape a man who threatened to kill her, her child, and her entire family. To Be Brave tells the story of how one Minnesota farm family experienced domestic violence and found a way to heal. To write it, Karla McGray had to unearth family secrets, acknowledge the courage asserted by her mother and aunt, and explore the lifelong impact of traumatic events. This grace-filled story offers hope to individuals and families who live with domestic violence.

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9780578886145

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Reviews

With nearly cinematic drama, To Be Brave reconstructs the story of Karla McGray's Aunt Lila, acquitted in the 1950s for the murder of her husband following years of domestic abuse. But the power of this memoir resides in what came before and after. The legacy of violence kept secret, of fear and abuse unspoken. A teenager at the time of the trial, McGray, like all those affected by family violence, was tasked with resisting its inheritance, and the focus of this redemptive memoir is on grace. On the ordinary angels who enabled McGray to transform a terrible knowledge into a life lived out in love. We are the beneficiaries of Karla McGray's determination to deepen the decision of what it means to be brave. -Patricia Weaver Francisco, author of Telling: A Memoir of Rape and Recovery McGray's heartfelt and compact memoir offers many wonderful stories. . . . Vivid, colorful tales of her grandparents' farm, some roughhousing neighborhood boys, and the trauma of her aunt's trial all add up to a greater whole, one that is relatable and optimistic. A warmhearted, concise, and compassionate account that confronts difficult issues and celebrates success. -Kirkus Reviews To Be Brave is a deeply personal, educational, and spiritual story of domestic violence and sexual abuse. Karla's story opens our minds and hearts to how every abused woman is fighting to survive. This heart-wrenching story is a message of hope, resilience, and strength. Karla's courage to uncover her family's history of abuse is an inspiration to all abused women to take their first step, however small, in beginning their own heroic journey. That is-to be brave. -Suzy Whelan, SafeJourney Program Manager, North Memorial Health, 1999-2017 With painful honesty, Karla lays bare the horrors of domestic violence, but shows the link between those horrors and secrecy about them. However, she reveals sacraments, the ordinary moments, that nourish us and provide vivid vistas of grace to give us hope. -Bill Percy, PhD, psychologist emeritus Karla knows what she is talking about. To Be Brave painfully exposes the paralyzing secret of domestic violence and sexual abuse. She clarifies the legitimacy of victims' profound isolation, hopelessness, and terror. Under the real threat of violence, they must even attempt to deceive those of us who desperately want to help. This at times emotionally excruciating story of three abused women also offers hope as they discover their agency and find support for recovery and possibly even peace. -Dr. Mark Berg, Emergency Department Physician, North Memorial Health

Author Information

Karla McGray is an ordained minister who served many years as a chaplain in a Level One Trauma Center in the Minneapolis area. She has served on numerous nonprofit boards, been a speaker for community events and groups, and led support groups for women and men who have suffered abuse, assault, and loss. She supported Safe Journey, a program for victims of domestic violence, for many years.

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