Overview

You are exhausted. Not from anything you can point to. Just exhausted, in the specific way that belongs to someone who has been fighting for a long time without knowing quite what they were fighting, or whether it was possible to stop. The anxiety is not coming from the things you are anxious about. It never was. It is coming from the belief, running silently underneath every worry and every fear and every sleepless 2am, that certain feelings and thoughts and states of not-knowing are threats requiring combat. That belief is running the war. The content is just the terrain. And the war, the controlling and the avoiding and the endless rumination and the reassurance-seeking and the suppression and the daily invisible expenditure of everything you had, was never the response to the suffering. It was the source of most of it. There Is No War draws on Susan Nolen-Hoeksema's research on rumination, Steven Hayes's Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Roy Baumeister's work on ego depletion to show you exactly how the war started, what you are actually fighting, why every weapon you picked up is keeping the conflict alive, what it has cost you, and how the ceasefire actually works. This is not a book about managing anxiety. Managing and changing are different projects. This book is about the second one. The war is ending. What has been waiting on the other side of it is more than the war was ever able to show you.

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