Overview

What happens when the helpers need help? Critical care chaplain Hillary Kimsey was working in a downtown Seattle hospital when the first U.S. COVID-19 case appeared just miles away. For the next four years, she walked into rooms where families said goodbye over iPads, where nurses held back tears between codes, and where patients died without anyone who loved them by their side. By December 2020, she was diagnosed with PTSD. The Well is Deep is a frontline memoir structured around the imagery of baptism-sinking, submersion, and surfacing. With unflinching honesty and unexpected humor, Kimsey tells the truth about what it cost to be the person in the room when no one else could be there. Walk the hospital halls with her through: The eerie silence of empty ferries crossing the Puget Sound in the earliest days of lockdown An ordination as an Episcopal priest in a nearly empty cathedral, wearing hiking sandals under her vestments The Delta wave and the hardest day of her career The moment her therapist said, ""You can't self-care your way out of constant trauma"" Anti-vaccine protests outside the hospital while patients died inside The slow, sacred work of surfacing-leaving the hospital, finding a parish, and learning to live with what she carries Each chapter ends with reflection questions for personal journaling or group discussion, making this not just a memoir but a tool for processing your own pandemic grief. For anyone who has carried the weight of caring for others. For anyone who lost someone to COVID and hasn't fully grieved. For anyone who suspects the pandemic changed them in ways they haven't yet named. This book says: you are not alone, and your well is deeper than you know.

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9781966655763

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Reviews

""A deeply human story of sinking, surviving, and surfacing. This memoir reminds us that hope is not the absence of grief, but what remains when grief is fully honored. With raw vulnerability and luminous faith, Hillary traces the hidden cost of compassion and the quiet miracles that sustained her. Honest, brave, and ultimately life-giving, this book invites readers to tend their own wounds and discover that even after submersion, it is possible to rise into new life."" - Bishop Brian N. Prior, Senior Advisor for the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church and Professionally Certified Coach with Prioritize Coaching ""Hillary's nuanced sensibility and God-given grit shines through in this jaw-droppingly honest and uplifting book. Here is a person thoroughly steeped in Biblical story, emotionally and psychologically transparent and full of hope for herself and us. Usable on account of reflection questions and inspiring. Wow!"" -The Most Rev. Melissa M. Skelton, Bishop Provisional of Olympia, Retired ""As an ICU doc at the peak of COVID, I strongly recommend Hillary's narrative. It's incredibly raw, real, personal, and shows the humanity, turmoil, and inside story of the emotional toll that COVID took on all of our souls."" - Dr. Leslie Jette, Pulmonary MD & Critical Care Staff ""A raw and unfiltered account of life in the health care profession during COVID, Kimsey paints the pandemic in its grim, honest light with no attempt to hide the messy parts. A gritty, visceral read filled with equal parts of grief, anger, loss, and hope and understanding."" -Dr. Mary Edelson, Neonatologist ""Experience danger, shock, intensity, anger, heartbreak, and despair sprinkled with hope and joy on the COVID-19 frontline through Seattle chaplain Hillary's heart. Join her vulnerable, heroic, exhausting journey compassionately, meaningfully supporting dying patients, grief-stricken families, and woefully stretched healthcare colleagues while reaching out and within for recovery. Suspenseful. Breathtaking. Inspiring."" - Rev. Jill Rasmussen-Baker, MDiv, BCC, ACPE-CE. Director of Spiritual Care, Harborview Medical Center, Seattle, WA ""This book healed something in me."" -Rev. Kate Harmon Siberine, Disabled Body of Christ TikTok Community

Author Information

Rev. Hillary B. Kimsey is a teacher, writer, Episcopal priest, and board-certified chaplain living across the Puget Sound from Seattle. Since interning as a hospital chaplain in 2013, her vocation has been supporting people during the important moments of life, including moments of grief, illness, and trauma. When she's not working, one might find Hillary reading yet another fantasy book series or enjoying the Pacific Northwest with her spouse and their beloved corgi.

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