Awards

• Commended for Asian/Pacific American Award for Literature (Young Adult Literature) 2019

Overview

A Time Magazine 100 Best YA Books of All Time Selection A stunning, heartbreaking debut novel about grief, love, and family, perfect for fans of Jandy Nelson and Celeste Ng. Leigh Chen Sanders is absolutely certain about one thing: When her mother died by suicide, she turned into a bird. Leigh, who is half Asian and half white, travels to Taiwan to meet her maternal grandparents for the first time. There, she is determined to find her mother, the bird. In her search, she winds up chasing after ghosts, uncovering family secrets, and forging a new relationship with her grandparents. And as she grieves, she must try to reconcile the fact that on the same day she kissed her best friend and longtime secret crush, Axel, her mother was taking her own life. Alternating between real and magic, past and present, friendship and romance, hope and despair, The Astonishing Color of After is a stunning and heartbreaking novel about finding oneself through family history, art, grief, and love. ""Emily X.R. Pan's brilliantly crafted, harrowing first novel portrays the vast spectrum of love and grief with heart-wrenching beauty and candor. This is a very special book.""- John Green, bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down

Full Product Details

9780316464017

Table of Contents

Reviews

Emily X.R. Pan utterly transported me to a world reminiscent of Isabel Allende. Haunting at every turn, this is a glorious debut. -- Ren e Ahdieh, bestselling author of The Wrath and the Dawn Lyrical and suspenseful. --The New York Times Book Review The Astonishing Color of After works a delicate magic. Its portrayal of grief is deeply felt, and so too is its deliciously tricky romance. I loved this book. -- Marie Rutkoski, bestselling author of The Winner's Curse Through Leigh's emotional, illuminating first person narration, Emily X. R. Pan peels back the layers of her grief to expose the heart at the center. The result is a novel as lyrical as it is earnest. --Tor.com The story is centered on a heart-wrenching mystery, yet Pan's prose is as warm and free-flowing as Waipo's oolong tea, making this story a surprisingly uplifting one. --BookPage In her debut book, Pan communicates what seems many lifetimes of wisdom: the intricacies of grief, how mental illness ripples through families and what it means to find love in the midst of so much loss. --The Daily Beast I am sure I will return to this book every year, just as I am sure that there will always be something new for me to find in its pages. --BookRiot * [The novel] pushes the readers' expectations in beautiful and interesting ways. --School Library Connection, starred review * Pan's debut novel is not to be missed. --School Library Journal, starred review In this dazzling debut, author Emily X.R. Pan has created a spellbinding narrative about love, family, and what it means to grieve. --Bustle This beautiful, magical journey through grief made my heart take flight. -- Holly Black, bestselling author of The Cruel Prince and The Darkest Part of the Forest Magic and mourning, love and loss, secrets kept and secrets revealed all illuminate Emily X.R. Pan's inventive and heart-wrenching debut. --Gayle Forman, bestselling author of If I Stay and I Was Here Praise for The Astonishing Color of After A New York Times bestsellerAn IndieBound bestseller A hypnotic narrative. --Horn Book Emily X.R. Pan beautifully depicts grief in all its complexities: the numbing sadness, the rage, the confusion, and, most hauntingly, the joy. --Bustle.com An evocative novel that captures the uncertain, unmoored feeling of existing between worlds--culturally, linguistically, ethnically, romantically, and existentially--it is also about seeking hope and finding beauty even in one's darkest hours. --Kirkus Reviews * Pan offers an extraordinary journey that proves real, surreal, and wholly magical. --Shelf Awareness * This novel is as elegant as it is mesmerizing. --VOYA, starred review * Pan's emotionally charged debut is a compelling exploration of grief and the insidiousness of depression. --Publishers Weekly, starred review * Dynamic, brave Leigh emerges vividly in Pan's deft hand, and her enthralling journey through her grief glows with stunning warmth, strength, and resilience. --Booklist, starred review My heart has never been more pleasantly devastated. A raw and brilliant debut. -- Roshani Chokshi, bestselling author of The Star-Touched Queen An extraordinary debut from a fiercely talented writer. -- Nova Ren Suma, bestselling author of The Walls Around Us Emily X.R. Pan's brilliantly crafted, harrowing first novel portrays the vast spectrum of love and grief with heart-wrenching beauty and candor. This is a very special book. --John Green, bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down

Lyrical and suspenseful. --The New York Times Book Review The Astonishing Color of After works a delicate magic. Its portrayal of grief is deeply felt, and so too is its deliciously tricky romance. I loved this book. -- Marie Rutkoski, bestselling author of The Winner's Curse Emily X.R. Pan utterly transported me to a world reminiscent of Isabel Allende. Haunting at every turn, this is a glorious debut. -- Ren e Ahdieh, bestselling author of The Wrath and the Dawn Through Leigh's emotional, illuminating first person narration, Emily X. R. Pan peels back the layers of her grief to expose the heart at the center. The result is a novel as lyrical as it is earnest. --Tor.com The story is centered on a heart-wrenching mystery, yet Pan's prose is as warm and free-flowing as Waipo's oolong tea, making this story a surprisingly uplifting one. --BookPage I am sure I will return to this book every year, just as I am sure that there will always be something new for me to find in its pages. --BookRiot * [The novel] pushes the readers' expectations in beautiful and interesting ways. --School Library Connection, starred review * Pan offers an extraordinary journey that proves real, surreal, and wholly magical. --Shelf Awareness * This novel is as elegant as it is mesmerizing. --VOYA, starred review * Pan's emotionally charged debut is a compelling exploration of grief and the insidiousness of depression. --Publishers Weekly, starred review * Dynamic, brave Leigh emerges vividly in Pan's deft hand, and her enthralling journey through her grief glows with stunning warmth, strength, and resilience. --Booklist, starred review In this dazzling debut, author Emily X.R. Pan has created a spellbinding narrative about love, family, and what it means to grieve. --Bustle My heart has never been more pleasantly devastated. A raw and brilliant debut. -- Roshani Chokshi, bestselling author of The Star-Touched Queen This beautiful, magical journey through grief made my heart take flight. -- Holly Black, bestselling author of The Cruel Prince and The Darkest Part of the Forest An extraordinary debut from a fiercely talented writer. -- Nova Ren Suma, bestselling author of The Walls Around Us Magic and mourning, love and loss, secrets kept and secrets revealed all illuminate Emily X.R. Pan's inventive and heart-wrenching debut. --Gayle Forman, bestselling author of If I Stay and I Was Here Emily X.R. Pan's brilliantly crafted, harrowing first novel portrays the vast spectrum of love and grief with heart-wrenching beauty and candor. This is a very special book. --John Green, bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down A hypnotic narrative. --Horn Book Emily X.R. Pan beautifully depicts grief in all its complexities: the numbing sadness, the rage, the confusion, and, most hauntingly, the joy. --Bustle.com In her debut book, Pan communicates what seems many lifetimes of wisdom: the intricacies of grief, how mental illness ripples through families and what it means to find love in the midst of so much loss. --The Daily Beast An evocative novel that captures the uncertain, unmoored feeling of existing between worlds--culturally, linguistically, ethnically, romantically, and existentially--it is also about seeking hope and finding beauty even in one's darkest hours. --Kirkus Reviews * Pan's debut novel is not to be missed. --School Library Journal, starred review Praise for The Astonishing Color of After A New York Times bestsellerAn IndieBound bestseller

Praise for The Astonishing Color of After A New York Times bestsellerAn IndieBound bestsellerBustle Best of YA Books of 2018A Paste Magazine Best Young Adult Novel of 2018 lyrical and suspenseful --The New York Times Book Review The Astonishing Color of After works a delicate magic. Its portrayal of grief is deeply felt, and so too is its deliciously tricky romance. I loved this book. -- Marie Rutkoski, bestselling author of The Winner's Curse Emily X.R. Pan utterly transported me to a world reminiscent of Isabel Allende. Haunting at every turn, this is a glorious debut. -- Ren e Ahdieh, bestselling author of The Wrath and the Dawn A hypnotic narrative. --Horn Book Through Leigh's emotional, illuminating first person narration, Emily X. R. Pan peels back the layers of her grief to expose the heart at the center. The result is a novel as lyrical as it is earnest. --Tor.com Emily X.R. Pan beautifully depicts grief in all its complexities: the numbing sadness, the rage, the confusion, and, most hauntingly, the joy. --Bustle.com The story is centered on a heart-wrenching mystery, yet Pan's prose is as warm and free-flowing as Waipo's oolong tea, making this story a surprisingly uplifting one. --BookPage In her debut book, Pan communicates what seems many lifetimes of wisdom: the intricacies of grief, how mental illness ripples through families and what it means to find love in the midst of so much loss. --The Daily Beast I am sure I will return to this book every year, just as I am sure that there will always be something new for me to find in its pages. --BookRiot An evocative novel that captures the uncertain, unmoored feeling of existing between worlds--culturally, linguistically, ethnically, romantically, and existentially--it is also about seeking hope and finding beauty even in one's darkest hours. --Kirkus Reviews * [The novel] pushes the readers' expectations in beautiful and interesting ways. --School Library Connection, starred review * Pan offers an extraordinary journey that proves real, surreal, and wholly magical. --Shelf Awareness * This novel is as elegant as it is mesmerizing. --VOYA, starred review * Pan's debut novel is not to be missed. --School Library Journal, starred review * Pan's emotionally charged debut is a compelling exploration of grief and the insidiousness of depression. --Publishers Weekly, starred review * Dynamic, brave Leigh emerges vividly in Pan's deft hand, and her enthralling journey through her grief glows with stunning warmth, strength, and resilience. --Booklist, starred review In this dazzling debut, author Emily X.R. Pan has created a spellbinding narrative about love, family, and what it means to grieve. --Bustle My heart has never been more pleasantly devastated. A raw and brilliant debut. -- Roshani Chokshi, bestselling author of The Star-Touched Queen This beautiful, magical journey through grief made my heart take flight. -- Holly Black, bestselling author of The Cruel Prince and The Darkest Part of the Forest An extraordinary debut from a fiercely talented writer. -- Nova Ren Suma, bestselling author of The Walls Around Us Magic and mourning, love and loss, secrets kept and secrets revealed all illuminate Emily X.R. Pan's inventive and heart-wrenching debut. --Gayle Forman, bestselling author of If I Stay and I Was Here Emily X.R. Pan's brilliantly crafted, harrowing first novel portrays the vast spectrum of love and grief with heart-wrenching beauty and candor. This is a very special book. --John Green, bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down

Author Information

Emily X.R. Pan currently lives in Brooklyn, New York, but was originally born in the Midwestern United States to immigrant parents from Taiwan. She received her MFA in fiction from the NYU Creative Writing Program, where she was a Goldwater Fellow. She is the founding editor-in-chief of Bodega Magazine, and a 2017 Artist-in-Residence at Djerassi. She is the author ofThe Astonishing Color of After and An Arrow to the Moon. Visit Emily online at exrpan.com, and find her on Twitter and Instagram: @exrpan.

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