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Swimming my way through the depths of Depression My legal name is Laura Jayne Inglis and my artist's name is Madame Phoenix. I am 33 years old and have been working on my book, ""Swimming my way through the depths of Depression"" for the last three years. It is a compilation of artwork poems, ramblings, and short stories I have written over the years to cope with my depression, specifically since a car accident in 2019 which triggered a major brain disorder - Functional Neurological Disorder (FND). The car accident ultimately caused me to lose almost everything. My career working with children, my license and a lot of my independence and many friends and loved ones who couldn't cope with how debilitating this condition was. I had worked as an Outside School Hours Coordinator at Mt Crosby School Hours Coordinator for 9 years prior to the accident - the job, children, and community it created was my life. I was also part of the local Roller Derby league both as a player and their secretary. I was skating up to 20 hours a week prior to the car crash. The lack of socialisation and skating/driving led me to picking up a piece of paper and pencil one day and just drawing and before I knew it, I couldn't stop. I poured my heart out, as dark as it was, and that became my coping mechanism. It is my dream to share my works with the world and help those who live with mental illness, FND and/or have gone through significant trauma like me. I want my book to make a difference. Even if it's to just one individual. Swimming my way through the depths of Depression was written during an extremely turbulent time during my life and there were many people who waivered during the storm and left; for the wind and rain was too heavy for them to carry. However, there were many people who stood still with and for me and for that, I am forever grateful. They are my true mates for life, and I love them dearly. You know who you are. This book also helped me grow both creatively and as an individual and young woman. It helped shape my view of the world as well as how I saw myself and the way I allowed others to see and treat me. Between the lines of some of these painful proses and confronting poems, I learnt the immense power of two words: ""No"" and ""boundaries"". My life changed for the better because I embraced these two words in my life and I used them to shape my new world - a safer world where I was bold, brave and beyond reproach. I was in control and I wasn't making lemonade out of lemons I was making flipping zesty, sunrise mocktails in my corner of the world where women were empowered and encouraged to be loud, brazen, and unapologetically themselves but most of all, where we were safe. That is what book, means to me and I hope, brings some same familiar meaning to individuals around the corners of the world. Kind regards, Madame PhoenixLaura Jayne Inglis

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9780645925104

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"""I am sorry for the times you did not feel loved or worthy. That the world had shown you less than you deserved. I did my best to love you. To show you every time we touched. Every time I held you in my arms Entwining my body tightly around yours. Cocooning you from the hurt that came from every direction. My head was full of whispers Thoughts of how I loved, respected and valued you. How you were most worthy and wonderful. Smart and beautiful and funny. Remarkable, oh, so, remarkable. So, I'm sorry for the way the world turned it's back against you and for The times you did not receive the love which you deserved. But I hope you know; each time I held you in my arms, I was doing my best to show you that I love you and always would."" ""The hospital is incredibly quiet. Its hum of noises are smoothly running along like clockwork. My head, on the other hand, is oh so loud. It's like a carnival after hours, where everyone has gone mad and there is no order. Chaos, madness, insanity, anarchy everywhere. I want to scream, but I still have trouble speaking and my face is contorted. It has a mind of its own, twisting and straining in unbelievably awkward ways. It hurts like hell. I feel as though a dozen hands are grappling at the flesh on my face, pulling and stretching in different directions, so tightly I can scarcely blink or breathe. My neck cranes too, jerking back and rolling against my shoulders, mainly my right one. At least when that happens, I can see outside my hospital bedroom window, it's pitch-black with tiny flickering lights of various colours. They remind me of the fireflies up at the golf course back at Mum and Dad's."""

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