Overview

In this moving and authoritative work which combines dedicated research and interviews with victims of childhood abuse and neglect, psychotherapist Linda Sanford passionately refutes the received wisdom that such people are trapped in a vicious circle of abuse and will probably become perpetrators of violence themselves. In more than seventeen years of working with victims and survivors, she discovered that this simplistic formula is far from true. Most survivors, in her experience, break free from the patterns of victimization and abuse and go on to lead healthy and fulfilling lives. And the more than twenty interviewed in depth by Sanford provide vivid proof that full recovery is possible. As they discuss key issues, such as self-image, intimacy, work and spirituality, we come to see what enables them, and countless others like them, to triumph over trauma and become not only strong, but often strongest where they've been most injured- strong at the broken places.

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9781853813740

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Reviews

'Linda Sanford has written a book that has the power to change your life.' Claudia Black

Linda Sanford has written a book that has the power to change your life. - Claudia Black

Psychotherapist Sanford (Silent Children, 1980) eloquently addresses the question being asked by many researchers: Why do some abused children emerge as productive, even happy, adults, while others are consigned to continue their lives in misery? With a title borrowed from Hemingway, Sanford draws from her own practice, from lengthy interviews, and from literature to state first that there are many healthy survivors of unhappy childhoods - that not all become abusers themselves. She goes on to examine the ways in which survivors defend themselves both during the period of abuse and later. Mental games, what Sanford calls lies of the mind - like fantasizing and compartmentalizing feelings and experiences - are prevalent. So is the sympathetic witness, the teacher, aunt, neighbor, employer who offers the child another view of himself (as lovable and worthwhile) and of the world. Having siblings to protect can be important. These defenses may serve only to cover over the emotional wounds, but there is a drive to health among survivors that enables them eventually to explore and reconcile the feelings that have shaped their lives. Religion is also often an important component of the healing process. Sanford's re-creation of the child's point of view is particularly vivid - and emphasizes how resilient and brave some children can be in creating a safe place for themselves. (Kirkus Reviews)

Author Information

Linda T. Sanford has been working with victims of sexual abuse since 1973. A member of the US Attorney General's Symposium on Child Molestation, she is a lecturer on topics of self-esteem, treatment of adolescent sex offenders and survivors of childhood trauma.

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