Overview

★ Gold Medal Winner of the 2026 Illumination Christian Book Award-honored for literary excellence, emotional depth, and transformative storytelling. ""Why would God condemn me for something I didn't choose and couldn't change?"" Raised in the rural Deep South - poor, abused by a mentally ill mother - John Wilson found refuge in a fire-and-brimstone Pentecostal church that promised salvation and demanded absolute obedience, where safety came through conformity. He became the man they needed him to be. A pastor. A husband. A father. He was also a gay man living a life that was never his own. When tragedy struck and the truth surfaced, it cost him everything: his marriage, his ministry, his community, and even the God he believed demanded his sacrifice. What followed was not a fall from grace, but a reckoning-an unmaking of shame and a search for a faith that could survive honesty. At its heart, this is a love story between a father and his daughters - a man fighting to stay in their lives, discovering grace beyond the walls of religion and a love that no longer requires hiding. Harrowing, hopeful, and deeply human, Straight to Hell is an award-winning memoir of faith deconstruction, religious trauma, and LGBTQ identity-for anyone who had to lose their salvation to find their soul. For readers of Boy Erased and Educated, this is not just a story of loss. It is the cost of telling the truth-and the life that becomes possible when you finally do. Now a clinical psychologist, John returns to the ruins to make meaning of what was lost and to help others reclaim what was taken.

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Reviews

""Straight to Hell is John Wilson's remarkable account of losing his lifelong faith and finding his true self. With candor, insight, and emotional clarity, he shares hard truths without a shred of self-pity, illuminating the deep damage caused by rigid fundamentalist belief systems-and the generational grief, shame, and pain they leave in their wake. Wilson's story is a powerful testament to the courage it takes to say, ""Enough.""-Elizabeth Ridley, coauthor (with Pamela Jones) of The Dirt Beneath Our Door: My Journey to Freedom After Escaping a Polygamous Mormon Cult (Matt Holt Books, 2025) ""A vulnerable, generous, and impressively polished memoir, this story pulses with grace, emotional clarity, and fierce authenticity. The writing is vivid and image-driven, with moments of devastating insight. With memory as a central character and a narrator who earns our trust from the first page, this is an unforgettable journey of resilience, transformation, and truth.""-Lia Ottaviano, New York-based editor, book coach, and content strategist; former Associate Editor at John Wiley & Sons

Author Information

John Wesley Wilson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist, award-winning author, and former Evangelical pastor whose work confronts the cost of belonging when it requires self-erasure.Raised in poverty and abuse in the Deep South, he found refuge in Pentecostal Christianity-until his sexual orientation emerged and faith demanded denial. Believing obedience would bring healing, he married, became a father, and entered the ministry, preaching against the very truth he was hiding.After decades of repression, his inner world collapsed, becoming the catalyst for a painful-and ultimately liberating-awakening.Blending psychological insight with lived experience, John now helps others recover from religious trauma, identity shame, and spiritual abuse. His award-winning memoir, Straight to Hell, offers a searing and compassionate account of what happens when faith and truth collide-and the freedom that follows.He lives in Atlanta, Georgia, where he maintains a private therapy practice and continues to write and speak on faith deconstruction and psychological healing.

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