Overview

She Wasn't Damaged is Hagit Vardi's third book. The poems depict the process of awakening to childhood scenes of molestation by her father, and reveal the internal voices Hagit discovers in the journey: The damaged baby who retreats from the world; the vengeful sixteen-year-old who uses writing as a weapon; the self-doubting woman who demands proof; and the angry chorus who refuse to make peace. The journey continues in the voice of a woman who gradually accepts her vulnerabilities. In an epilogue consisting of selected poems from Vardi's fourth book, The Sea Is Your Witness, we meet the mature woman at last able to welcome her ghosts, put the blame where it belongs, and move forward with hope and trust. The book includes poems in the original Hebrew, along with the English translation created in collaboration with Daphna Ben Yosef. This collection gives us a glimpse into the emotional and physical world of those who survive sexual abuse-the self-doubt, self-blame, anger, shame, and despair that arise from the struggle between the need to know and the fear of knowing. While these poems serve as a voice for survivors, they also enlighten us about the intense and lasting effects of abuse, and have deservedly drawn the attention of Israeli mental health professionals and assistance centers for victims of sexual abuse.

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Reviews

""The authentic voice and minimalist forms in this collection will remind readers of poems by poets like Yrsa Daley-Ward. It is a collection that long-time poetry readers and newcomers to the genre can equally appreciate"" -Nicole Yurcaba, The US Review of Books ""Hagit Vardi's poetic journey through the nightmare of childhood sexual abuse is a moving testament to the deep power of art to heal and give life. The poetry is startling and gorgeous - an unforgettable experience."" -Susan Sweeney, professor emerita of theater, University of Wisconsin-Madison ""heart strain, feet/Breathing, vomiting, calves/Shuddering, hallucinations, thighs,"" Hagit Vardi's poetry about childhood sexual abuse by her father is unique and strong. Written in the beautiful script of Hebrew we find ourselves in dream and nightmare translated to English. In Chorus, Single Chorus Member, and Speaker, we recognize our own conflicting inner Voices. In the antithetical meaning of the title, from deep soul devastation to self and soul salvation, ""from the depth of my wound/I drew will and power"", we come away from And She Wasn't Damaged enlightened, in triumph. -Sharon Doubiago, awarded The Oregon Book Award, author of Naked to the Earth (poetry), My Father's Love (memoir) ""In spare images. With no extraneous words in either English or Hebrew, Hagit tells the story of her betrayal by one who should most be trusted. She uses her voice to declaim the hurt, and refusal to stay damaged. To tell her truth, she has shared it with us as revelation for all survivors; that we carry the shame of the abuse that truly belongs only to the abuser for as long as it is kept secret. Told in words unminced, yet beautiful, we can share her determination to heal, to reject any pretense of false images to excuse abusers' actions. As a therapist and survivor, I value the courage Hagit radiates. She rejected denial, didn't pretend to forgive, and so became strong. And now she helps others to heal."" -Cynthia Wall, author of The Courage to Trust ""With linguistic precision, Hagit Vardi creates multifaceted, challenging poetry, and invites the reader to meet a fascinating voice. Her every poem is a diamond filled with a deep sense of sorrow, self-awareness, sensitivity and humility toward the self and the world. It is hard to imagine anyone remaining indifferent to her poetry.""-Yakir Ben Moshe, poet and editor ""Sexual trauma is an experience characterized by the inability to put it into words. it is repressed from one's conscious mind, blurred and inaccessible. Hagit Vardi's poems achieve the impossible. She concocts word succinctly, almost dryly; words that revive dark moments. Her unique language is deceptive, for only at the end of each poem one arrives at the full impact of recognition, when it becomes clear she has managed to capture not only the moment, but the reader too.""-Shmuel Hirschmann, MD, MPA, Director of Lev Hasharon Mental Health Hospital

Author Information

Hagit Vardi trained as a flutist and later in the healing arts as a Feldenkrais practitioner. For the past twenty years Hagit has been helping people as a Feldenkrais practitioner (including at the University of Wisconsin Integrative Health program) and has been teaching Feldenkrais for Musicians courses and workshops with her husband, Uri Vardi. In her sixties Vardi started writing poetry as part of her healing process. She has published five books of poetry in Hebrew with Pardes Publishing. Her poems were published in newspapers, literary magazines and on the radio, and attract attention among mental health professionals and the centers of assistance for victims of sexual abuse. Translator and content writer Daphna Ben Yosef (1962 - 2021) had a deep passion towards both Hebrew and English. Ben Yosef earned her degrees in both Theater and Language Interpretation and Translation from Tel Aviv University in Israel. Her translations include The 29% Solution by Ivan R. Misner and Michelle R. Donovan, The Biology of Belief by Bruce H. Lipton, and Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers. Hagit Vardi trained as a flutist and later in the healing arts as a Feldenkrais practitioner. For the past twenty years Hagit has been helping people as a Feldenkrais practitioner (including at the University of Wisconsin Integrative Health program) and has been teaching Feldenkrais for Musicians courses and workshops with her husband, Uri Vardi. In her sixties Vardi started writing poetry as part of her healing process. She has published five books of poetry in Hebrew with Pardes Publishing. Her poems were published in newspapers, literary magazines and on the radio, and attract attention among mental health professionals and the centers of assistance for victims of sexual abuse.

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