Overview

This collection of poems has been written by men and women as part of their recovery from the harm and trauma of being sent away at a young age to boarding school. The harm is not specifically due to hardship, cruelty or abuse: but the fundamental rift of broken attachment to parents, home, pets, toys and all that is familiar to the young child. Commonly, awareness of the impact of the boarding experience does not manifest until well into adult life. Former boarders often lead successful lives, but become increasingly conscious that something in them is incomplete. An event, such as a broken relationship or their own children starting school, can trigger a powerful response of distress and confusion, even to the point of breakdown and collapse. Only by seeking professional help and by their own hard work do they come to understand what has happened to them - that it is not their fault; that they can grow and learn from the experience; and that they can see themselves and those they love in a new and kinder light. Creativity can play a large part in this process, be it in the visual arts, drama, writing or, as in this book, poetry. The editors, two of whom are former boarders, all have worked as part of Boarding School Concern and its predecessors to help former boarders come to terms with their situation. For this book, they have made a selection from the poems written over many years for Poetry Corner at the well-regarded annual conference held by Boarding School Concern. In addition, they have chosen some other poems from the literature that particularly well express the impact of boarding. This anthology will be a route to reflection at the deepest level for former boarders. For psychotherapists, counsellors and educators it will provide insight into the often buried turmoil of the former boarder's psyche.

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9781919436401

Table of Contents

Reviews

""What the reader will find between these pages is less about poetry and more a series of attempts to come to terms with something extraordinarily difficult to integrate psychologically. The sending away of small children to be raised in institutions designed for hot-housing elites is almost impossible to 'get your head around'. A reader from abroad might think that this collection flags a national disgrace, a transgenerational tragedy. My hope is that this powerful book is a further step on the path to our reclaiming a sensible and child-centred pedagogy."" Nick Duffell, founder of Boarding School Survivors; author of The Making of Them ""These poems articulate, straight from the hearts of former boarders, the devastation of being sent away from home by parents who I am sure loved them. Here, in the raw, is laid out the confusion, despair and loneliness of the child removed from its home, all that it knows, to the austerity of an institutional life the rules and conditions of which are set out by strangers. Voice is given to the long-term psychological impact of the trauma and abandonment that I see daily in my practice. Yet, these poems also reflect the growth that is possible from a life in survival to the more soulful living that is available through hard personal work. The wounded child within can be found and brought home."" Darrel Hunneybell, psychotherapist; leader of the men's Boarding School Survivors workshops ""Love seeps right down into children's physiology: their stress system, their posture, the neural pathways of their brains. So too does the longing for love. Adults cherish cloaking themselves in good intentions, dazzled by the hopes they carry for their children's future. These poems stand pointing, asking us to see how often the emperor has no clothes - raw, sharp and courageous words insisting that readers embrace their adult vulnerabilities so that our society can, perhaps, avoid continuing to trample on those of its children."" Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, developmental psychologist; author of Sabre Tooth Tigers & Teddy Bears

Author Information

Margaret Laughton has worked with former boarding organisations for more than two decades, most recently as a director of Boarding School Concern. Now retired, she maintains a keen interest in the former boarding sector. Allison Paech-Ujejski has researched and worked with former boarders since the early 1990s and has taught in several boarding schools. She retired as a director of Boarding School Concern in 2025. Paul Fray is a retired neuroscientist and technology entrepreneur. A survivor of early boarding, he has been involved with the former boarder sector for many years, the last seven as a director of Boarding School Concern.

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