Overview
Every couple has arguments, but what happens when recurring battles begin to feel like full-scale war? Do you retreat in hurt and angry silence, hoping that a spouse who ""just doesn't get it"" will eventually see things your way? Spend the time between skirmishes gathering evidence that you're right? Demand some immediate changes - or else? Whether due to innate personality traits or emotional vulnerabilities, there are some aspects of our behaviour that are difficult to alter. But these differences do not have to get in the way of healthy, happy, and long-lasting romance. This practical guide offers solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. Aided by exercises and lots of real-life examples, readers will learn why they keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; and how true acceptance can restore health to their relationships.
Full Product Details
Author: Andrew Christensen ,
Brian D. Doss ,
Neil S. Jacobson
Publisher: Guilford Publications
Imprint: Guilford Publications
Dimensions:
Width: 15.20cm
, Height: 2.80cm
, Length: 22.90cm
Weight: 0.614kg
ISBN: 9781572302617
ISBN 10: 1572302615
Pages: 332
Publication Date: 25 November 1999
Audience:
General/trade
,
General
Replaced By: 9781462512317
Format: Hardback
Publisher's Status: Out of Print
Availability: Out of stock
Reviews
Finally, a tested and therapeutic technique to help couples help themselves. It is straightforward, fair to both men and women, and each chapter is practical and wise. This is a book that couples can use together. It is easy to follow and not overwhelming. Most of all, this book will help couples in crisis to see each other's humanity and to find a way to understanding and acceptance and yes, change. --Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Love Between Equals This book speaks directly to the heart. Couples in conflict will recognize themselves in these pages and this reflection will gain their trust. The authors have written this book sensitively, with great clinical wisdom. Readers will learn how to heal their relationships and create the intimacy they want. --John Gottman, PhD, University of Washington, author of Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work This well-researched and well-written book is exactly what quarreling couples need to extricate themselves from tangles of blame and accusation. It is not just a pep talk, but a practical, hands-on guide for all couples with conflicts--which is to say, all couples. --Carol Tavris, PhD, author of Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion This is an insightful and inspiring analysis of the kinds of conflicts couples experience, and how they may change and experience greater intimacy. Eschewing easy answers and simple-minded solutions, the book tackles the complexities of intimate conflict in ways that clarify the contradictions and ironies that lovers confront. Based on their groundbreaking approach to couple therapy and their extensive research on marriage, Christensen and Jacobson offer couples sophisticated and powerful tools for reconciling their differences. --Elizabeth Loftus, PhD, Department of Psychology, University of Washington, President, American Psychological Society One virtue of the book is its utter realism....Offers a slew of tools that couples can use to reconcile their dif
Finally, a tested and therapeutic technique to help couples help themselves. It is straightforward, fair to both men and women, and each chapter is practical and wise. This is a book that couples can use together. It is easy to follow and not overwhelming. Most of all, this book will help couples in crisis to see each other's humanity and to find a way to understanding and acceptance and yes, change. --Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Love Between Equals This book speaks directly to the heart. Couples in conflict will recognize themselves in these pages and this reflection will gain their trust. The authors have written this book sensitively, with great clinical wisdom. Readers will learn how to heal their relationships and create the intimacy they want. --John Gottman, PhD, University of Washington, author of Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work This well-researched and well-written book is exactly what quarreling couples need to extricate themselves from tangles of blame and accusation. It is not just a pep talk, but a practical, hands-on guide for all couples with conflicts--which is to say, all couples. --Carol Tavris, PhD, author of Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion This is an insightful and inspiring analysis of the kinds of conflicts couples experience, and how they may change and experience greater intimacy. Eschewing easy answers and simple-minded solutions, the book tackles the complexities of intimate conflict in ways that clarify the contradictions and ironies that lovers confront. Based on their groundbreaking approach to couple therapy and their extensive research on marriage, Christensen and Jacobson offer couples sophisticated and powerful tools for reconciling their differences. --Elizabeth Loftus, PhD, Department of Psychology, University of Washington, President, American Psychological Society One virtue of the book is its utter realism....Offers a slew of tools that couples can use to reconcile their differences without the help of a therapist. --Jane Brody, New York Times Packed with data, wisdom, and common sense. --Polly Drew, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Finally, a tested and therapeutic technique to help couples help themselves. It is straightforward, fair to both men and women, and each chapter is practical and wise. This is a book that couples can use together. It is easy to follow and not overwhelming. Most of all, this book will help couples in crisis to see each other's humanity and to find a way to understanding and acceptance and yes, change. --Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Love Between Equals <br> This book speaks directly to the heart. Couples in conflict will recognize themselves in these pages and this reflection will gain their trust. The authors have written this book sensitively, with great clinical wisdom. Readers will learn how to heal their relationships and create the intimacy they want. --John Gottman, PhD, University of Washington, author of Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work <br> This well-researched and well-written book is exactly what quarreling couples need to extricate themselves from tangles of blame and accusation. It is not just a pep talk, but a practical, hands-on guide for all couples with conflicts--which is to say, all couples. --Carol Tavris, PhD, author of Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion <br> This is an insightful and inspiring analysis of the kinds of conflicts couples experience, and how they may change and experience greater intimacy. Eschewing easy answers and simple-minded solutions, the book tackles the complexities of intimate conflict in ways that clarify the contradictions and ironies that lovers confront. Based on their groundbreaking approach to couple therapy and their extensive research on marriage, Christensen and Jacobson offer couples sophisticated and powerfultools for reconciling their differences. --Elizabeth Loftus, PhD, Department of Psychology, University of Washington, President, American Psychological Society <br> One virtue of the book is its utter realism....Offers a slew of tools that couples can use to reconcile their differences without the help of a therapist. --Jane Brody, New York Times <br> Packed with data, wisdom, and common sense. --Polly Drew, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel <br>
Finally, a tested and therapeutic technique to help couples help themselves. It is straightforward, fair to both men and women, and each chapter is practical and wise. This is a book that couples can use together. It is easy to follow and not overwhelming. Most of all, this book will help couples in crisis to see each other's humanity and to find a way to understanding and acceptance and yes, change. --Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Love Between Equals <br> This book speaks directly to the heart. Couples in conflict will recognize themselves in these pages and this reflection will gain their trust. The authors have written this book sensitively, with great clinical wisdom. Readers will learn how to heal their relationships and create the intimacy they want. --John Gottman, PhD, University of Washington, author of Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work <br> This well-researched and well-written book is exactly what quarreling couples need to extricate themselves from tangl
Author Information
Andrew Christensen, PhD, is Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles. He has published widely on couple conflict and couple therapy. With Neil Jacobson, Dr. Christensen developed a treatment program for couples called Integrative Couple Therapy. Reconcilable Differences is a couples' guide to their approach. Currently, Dr. Christensen is directing a research study at UCLA and the University of Washington, sponsored by the National Institute of Mental Health, which examines the outcome of two important approaches to couple therapy, including Integrative Couple Therapy. This is the largest study to date of the effectiveness of marital therapy. Neil S. Jacobson, PhD, was Professor of Psychology at the University of Washington until his death in 1999. One of the most widely cited family therapists in the world, he was author of 200 articles and 9 books. His contributions to the fields of family therapy and mental health were recognized by prestigious research awards from the American Family Therapy Academy, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, and the National Institutes of Health.
