Overview

What happens when the person meant to protect you becomes the source of your fear? This memoir is an unflinching account of growing up under the control of a narcissistic mother, where love was conditional, silence was enforced, and survival meant learning to disappear. Told through vivid memories and raw reflection, Chloe recounts a childhood shaped by emotional neglect, psychological manipulation, and fear - experiences that followed her long into adulthood. From being punished for seeking comfort at night, to learning that illness was the only way to receive tenderness, to the quiet humiliations of school, sibling favouritism, and public praise that never matched private cruelty, this book traces how a child learns to internalise blame, shame, and self-erasure. It explores the long-term impact of complex trauma, including a later diagnosis of C-PTSD and BPD, and the ongoing struggle to separate an internalised critical voice from one's own sense of self. This is not a story of instant healing or simple forgiveness. It is about the slow, non-linear process of recognising abuse, grieving the childhood that never was, and learning to exist outside of someone else's shadow. Above all, it is written for those who grew up feeling unseen, unheard, or fundamentally ""too much"" - and for anyone who needs to know they are not alone. Content warning: This book discusses emotional abuse, childhood trauma, mental health struggles, and suicidal ideation.

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