Overview

Pushing the River: My Uncharted Path to Self Love is a raw and unforgettable memoir of loss, survival, and the long road back to oneself. At fifteen, Icasiana Barrs lost her father when he was trying to save his children from a sudden river whirlpool-an instant that shattered her world and bound her to a secret guilt she would carry for years. What follows is a powerful journey through grief, rebellion, risky choices, and a desperate search for belonging-from the streets of Oklahoma City to the nightlife of Manila, from self-destruction to awakening. With unflinching honesty and luminous insight, Barrs shares her near-death experience, the weight of shame, and the quiet courage it takes to break through numbness and reclaim love. Pushing the River is not just a story of tragedy-it is a testament to resilience. For anyone who has ever blamed themselves, felt unworthy, or longed to come home to their true self, this book offers proof that even the deepest waters cannot drown the human spirit. This book is a deeply personal account of lived experience, transformation, and the journey toward self-love. Within these pages, I share moments of pain, grief, loss, trauma, healing, and spiritual awakening with honesty and openness. For some readers, certain passages may stir memories or emotions connected to their own life experiences. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed at any point, please pause, breathe, and care for yourself with the gentleness you deserve. This book is not intended to replace professional medical or psychological support. Rather, it is offered as a story of one human journey-shared in the hope that truth, compassion, and reflection may bring love and light to your own path. May you read these pages with kindness toward yourself, taking only what serves your healing and leaving the rest with love.

Full Product Details

9781890586973

Table of Contents

Reviews

""It is a rare phenomenon that a human being can endure so much suffering, so much joy, and yet resolutely re-find the Love of God in it all. This is a true story-raw, powerful, miraculous-and a testimony to what is possible for us all."" - Dr. Kim A. Jobst, MA, DM, FRCP, MFHom Award-Winning Metaphysician & Integrative Medicine Pioneer ""Icasiana writes with rare vulnerability and courage. Through her deeply personal story, she reveals how unconscious wounds shape our choices, relationships, and sense of worth often without us realizing it. She shows how we hide behind work, addiction, people-pleasing, or denial, and why insight alone is not enough unless it is truly embodied. Pushing the River is a powerful reminder that our struggles are invitations to heal, surrender, and realign with who we truly are. Wise, honest, and transformative."" - Alena Čandová, DC ""I'm still reeling from Pushing the River, I picked it up one morning and didn't put it down until I was finished-it's that kind of immersive. It takes you through the full spectrum of the human experience: the devastation of losing your way and the grueling, beautiful work of finding it again. What stayed with me most is how Icasiana handles the ""why"" behind our patterns. It's a brave, honest look at how one moment can change everything, and how conscious healing can lead us back to a life of purpose. If you're looking for a story that opens you up and changes your perspective, this is it."" - Joanne Wilkie, Perth Australia ""Pushing the River is riveting, beautifully written, and achingly honest. It is a powerful and soul-stirring memoir. Once you start reading it, you won't be able to put it down-a must read!"" - Robb Sals, Isla Mujeres, Mexico

Author Information

About the AuthorIcasiana Barrs is a medicine woman, author, speaker, and founder of Behind Barrs - a movement devoted to helping individuals rediscover their true nature through trauma integration and self-remembrance. For over 25 years, she has guided thousands through sacred ceremonies, plant-based spiritual journeys, and deeply transformative one-on-one mentorship experiences.Rooted in ancient indigenous wisdom and informed by modern consciousness exploration, her work bridges spirit and lived human experience with rare depth and integrity. Her teachings invite individuals to break free from self-imposed limitations and awaken to their highest potential.Her memoir, Pushing the River: My Uncharted Path to Self-Love, is born from her own profound journey through loss, suffering, healing, and radical self-acceptance. Through her writing and leadership, Icasiana offers a powerful call to remembrance - a return to courage, compassion, and the truth of who we are.

Tab Content 6

Countries Available