Overview

When your life seems perfect to others, but you're slowly and silently falling apart--this workbook will help you recognize and gently challenge the ten traits of destructive perfectionism that camouflage loneliness and even despair. If you were raised to believe that expressing struggle is a sign of weakness, or if emotional honesty or transparency wasn't safe in your family or culture, then you may have protected yourself by creating a highly successful, perfect-looking life. The problem? What began as protection is now its own prison. You're secretly filled with memories that hold self-criticism and shame while you also stand guard, allowing no one to come close to guessing your inner struggles. You recognize something is wrong, but you're not sure what exactly--only that you feel trapped and alone. If this sounds like you, you may identify with perfectly hidden depression (PHD). With this evidence-based, stand-alone workbook, you'll learn to gently challenge the ten traits that act to camouflage your inner depression, release feelings of shame, overcome the need to rigidly control your emotions, and cultivate true self-acceptance. You'll also find tangible tips for quieting that critical and rule-bound inner voice, and learn powerful, present-day strategies for coping with difficult feelings. Perhaps just as importantly, you'll discover that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, but a reflection of your strong determination to heal. This workbook will help you: Understand what created the need for your perfectionism Identify destructive beliefs and challenge their usefulness in the present Begin to express and honor the entire range of your feelings Build meaningful connections If you're ready to stop hiding and start healing, this hands-on workbook will guide you--every imperfect step of the way.

Full Product Details

9781648487224

Table of Contents

Reviews

""A masterful workbook, filled with life-changing tools that are scientifically backed and more needed than ever."" --Ashley Stahl, best-selling author of and National Indie Award finalist for Your Turn --Ashley Stahl ""A perfect-looking life can hide deep exhaustion and pain. Drawing on decades of clinical experience and hard-won wisdom, Dr. Margaret Rutherford delivers a powerful workbook for anyone who seems to have it all together but feels secretly overwhelmed inside. With effective exercises, relatable storytelling, and quiet kindness, she will guide you through the self-work that--finally!--brings genuine peace of mind. A deeply humane and hopeful companion for anyone ready to heal."" --Ellen Hendriksen, PhD, clinical psychologist at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University, and author of How to Be Enough --Ellen Hendriksen, PhD ""Dr. Rutherford's workbook addresses a hidden epidemic I encounter constantly in my mental health interviews--people whose outward success masks profound inner struggle. Her compassionate, practical approach helps those trapped in perfectionism find freedom without sacrificing achievement. This isn't about fixing what's broken; it's about unlocking what's been hidden. For anyone who appears 'fine' while feeling anything but, this workbook offers a validated path forward. Essential reading for high-functioning individuals quietly suffering."" --Kyle Kittleson, host of MedCircle, where he interviews leading psychologists and psychiatrists on mental health topics for millions of viewers seeking evidence-based wellness insights --Kyle Kittleson ""For anyone exhausted from acing life but secretly flatlining inside, this workbook is your permission slip to drop the act and actually feel alive. Dr. Rutherford turns perfectionism's prison break into an art form--equal parts therapy, truth serum, and liberation manual. A must-read for anyone ready to trade flawless for fulfillment."" --Jodi Wellman, MAPP, founder of Four Thousand Mondays, and author of You Only Die Once --Jodi Wellman, MAPP ""In this powerful workbook, Dr. Rutherford offers a clear, practical, 'straight to the heart of the issue' guide to managing the overwhelm that perfectionism can cast. This workbook is so specific, so helpful, so straightforward, and so transformative. It would be impossible to read this and not heal in some way."" --Katherine Morgan Schafler, author of The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control --Katherine Morgan Schafler ""Margaret Rutherford cracks open a conversation so many workplace leaders have been afraid to initiate--the quiet pain of performing behind a mask. This book is a powerful permission slip to reclaim the parts of ourselves we've hidden to stay 'strong.' Her clarity, compassion, and practicality make this book a lifeline for anyone who's exhausted from being everything to everyone but themselves."" --Sally Spencer-Thomas, PsyD, psychologist, keynote speaker, trainer, consultant, and founder of the Headspace for the Workplace podcast--elevating leaders' confidence in mental health conversations --Sally Spencer-Thomas, PsyD ""So many of us struggle with 'perfectly hidden depression' on our own, fearing potential stigma and trapped in a lifetime of desperate habit. In this seminal workbook, Dr. Margaret Rutherford uses profound but simple wisdom to show how to break free of the prison of perfectionism, and find the acceptance and self-compassion that will make life more fulfilling--and so much easier."" --Terri Cheney, author of the New York Times bestseller, Manic: A Memoir --Terri Cheney

Author Information

Margaret Robinson Rutherford, PhD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice with more than thirty years of experience treating individuals and couples for depression, anxiety, and relationship issues. Her 2023 TEDx Talk on ""How to Recognize Perfectly Hidden Depression,"" where she challenges the mental health profession to recognize this overlooked and misunderstood presentation of depression, has received more than two million views. Her first book, Perfectly Hidden Depression, has reached a wide national and international audience. She offers her compassionate and commonsense therapeutic style to the public through her popular blog and podcast--The SelfWork Podcast--with the goal of making psychological treatment more accessible and approachable. Foreword writer Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT, is a psychotherapist in private practice specializing in the treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and related disorders. She is host of the Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, and founder of www.cbtschool.com--an online psychoeducation platform for OCD, anxiety disorders, and body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs).

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