Overview

""Shrewd, sage, and so darkly funny.""--Claire Lombardo, author of The Most Fun We Ever Had From the New York Times bestselling author of Dear Committee Members, a collection of wryly funny stories about ordinary women--in all their complexity, fallibility, and humanity. An unsuspecting couple is treated to a luxury vacation by their deceased neighbor. After begrudgingly agreeing to volunteer at a nursing home, a middle school girl gambles over games of bridge with elderly residents. A single mother struggles to understand the unique bond between her autistic son and his dying grandmother. Four friends experience decades of highs and lows as pawns in The Game of Life. A professional gynecology patient runs into a high school flame while at work, undressed, on the job. In this irreverent collection, celebrated novelist Julie Schumacher balances sorrow against laughter. Here, we experience story not only as narrative, but as syllabus and as board game. Each protagonist--ranging from girlhood to senescence--receives her own indelible voice as she navigates social blunders, generational misunderstandings, and the absurdity of the human experience. Exquisitely honest and expertly crafted, Patient, Female renders--with dark humor and wit--the foibles of human behavior and our endearing imperfections.

Full Product Details

9798228959866

Table of Contents

Reviews

""An audacious short story collection . . . Schumacher's story collection is fresh, hilarious, dark, and upsetting all at once, making it a uniquely dynamic read."" -- ""Minnesota Women's Press "" ""In turns, profoundly unsettling and slyly funny, Patient, Female explores the kaleidoscope of ways humans relate to each other--as parents, children, spouses, siblings, lovers, friends, and colleagues--with wit and needle-sharp prose. Julie Schumacher is brilliant at chronicling the high-tensile cable that connects even the most distant of family members, and the uncertainty and devastation that can result from even the simplest and most loving of choices. Truly, every one of these stories is a gem."" -- ""Katherine Heiny, author of Games and Rituals and Early Morning Riser"" ""Julie Schumacher offers more of her signature wisdom and sharp eye for telling situations in these thirteen stories of contemporary life. Her people are robust and failing, wise and off the mark, yet they all move through compelling situations and maneuver crossroads toward a new beginning that the reader can imagine beyond the last line. Everything about these stories is expert--I read them with deep pleasure and satisfaction."" -- ""Alice Elliott Dark, author of Fellowship Point"" ""Julie Schumacher's mesmerizing collection made me laugh out loud at the same time that it filled me with a sense of foreboding. How does she manage it? With characters so finely tuned that they vibrate on the page and with a keen eye for the ways in which it's our human lot to hurtle toward uncertain futures with our hearts laid bare. These stories are masterful and wise."" -- ""Marisa Silver, author of Mary Coin"" ""Patient, Female is shrewd, sage, and so darkly funny--what a treat to take a break from this world and go spend time in Julie Schumacher's."" -- ""Claire Lombardo, author of The Most Fun We Ever Had"" ""Smart and humming with life, Julie Schumacher's Patient, Female is the book I have been waiting to read. These stories are tender and witty, beautifully crafted, the kind of work that makes a person marvel at the long and messy experience of a life well lived. What a wonder! I deeply loved this collection."" -- ""Kristen Arnett, author of Mostly Dead Things"" ""With the perfect blend of dark humor and compassion for her characters, Schumacher writes of the absurdity of the human experience."" -- ""Literary Hub, ""Most Anticipated Books of 2026""""

Author Information

Julie Schumacher is the author of eleven books, including the national bestseller Dear Committee Members, winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor. Her essays and stories have appeared in The Atlantic, The New York Times, Ms., The Wall Street Journal, The Chronicle of Higher Education, and in The Best American Short Stories and The O. Henry Awards annual anthologies. She is a Regents Professor at the University of Minnesota, where she has received multiple teaching awards and has been recognized as a Scholar of the College. She lives in Saint Paul, Minnesota. Hillary Huber is one of the most successful voice talents in Los Angeles. Recent books read for Blackstone Audio include Him, Her, Him Again, the End of Him by Patricia Marx, A Field of Darkness by Cornelia Read, and A Map of Glass by Jane Urquhart. Lisa Flanagan is a classically trained soprano, comedian, voice-over artist, and Earphones Award-winning narrator. Jenn Lee is an audiobook narrator. A former Broadway actress and current TV casting director for Silent Crow Arts, she began narrating after doing some documentary work for American Experience. Raised in New York City, Texas, and Denver, she currently lives in the Hudson Valley. Alex Picard brings a lifetime of work in the theater as an actor and director to her work in front of the mic. With a background in Shakespeare, she excels at connecting listeners to the author's world. A Boston native and lifetime East Coaster, she records audiobooks in her home studio, is a terrible cook, an accidental gardener, enjoys all things Marvel, Star Wars, and Star Trek, and once ran a marathon on purpose. Anne Marie Lewis combined her knowledge and experience gained from her BA in the Great Books from the University of Notre Dame, her Master of Music from Northwestern University, and her many years of performing on stage in theater, opera, and musical theater with her love of listening to audiobooks while commuting to and from rehearsals, and began narrating audiobooks in 2018. She lives with her husband and four sons in Chicago. Quiet everywhere but on stage, Jess Moran obtained a BFA in theater from Shenandoah Conservatory in 2009. In 2016, she received an MEd in education, which was performing on a daily basis! It's led to her wanting to make nonfiction texts as accessible as possible for every listener in her performance. Spending over three years living in Northern Ireland was great craic, and only bolstered Jess's love for accents and dialects. Jess loves stories about strong women, sweeping history or mythology, and those featuring awkward young people with gumption. She brings a grounded yet playful, connected presence to every piece. When Jess is not recording, you will find her in mud-caked boots, covered in flour, chasing her children, or dancing (poorly, but happily).

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