Overview

It goes without saying that even today, it's not easy to be gay in America. While young gay men often come out more readily, even those from the most progressive of backgrounds still struggle with the legacy of early-life stigma and a deficit of self-acceptance, which can fuel doubt, regret, and, at worst, self-loathing. And this is to say nothing of the ongoing trauma wrought by AIDS, which is all too often relegated to history. Drawing on his work as a clinical psychologist during and in the aftermath of the epidemic, Walt Odets reflects on what it means to survive and figure out a way to live in a new, uncompromising future, both for the men who endured the upheaval of those years and for the younger men who have come of age since then, at a time when HIV is still deeply affecting gay communities, especially among the most marginalized. Through moving stories--of friends and patients, and his own--Odets considers how experiences early in life launch men on trajectories aimed at futures that are not authentically theirs. He writes to help reconstruct how we think about gay life by considering everything from the misleading idea of the homosexual, to the diversity and richness of gay relationships, to the historical role of stigma and shame and the significance of youth and of aging.

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9781665125314

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Reviews

A book full of heart...Impressively sound and based on a wealth of research and experience. -- Lambda Literary An astute statement on how to overcome trauma, loss, and isolation to live a proud, self-actualized, and fulfilling existence as a gay man...Some of the most on-point and beautifully written thoughts on love, acceptance and family I've read in some time. -- San Francisco Chronicle In this soaring combination of social critique, memoir, and manifesto...he highlights--with literary flair--shared trauma, stigma, shame, and suffering that he sees as particular to gay men's experience in America...Odets's greatest strengths are his moving prose and ability to make the psychological material accessible and as fascinating and thought-provoking as the poignant stories. -- Publishers Weekly (starred review) There's sadness in Odets's life story, but there's mostly resilience, tenderness, and a willingness to fashion an unapologetic gay life, sometimes against all odds. -- New York Times Book Review

Author Information

Walt Odets is a clinical psychologist and writer. He is the author of Out of the Shadows and In the Shadow of the Epidemic: Being HIV-Negative in the Age of AIDS. He has practiced psychology since 1987. Will Damron has won several Earphones Awards and been a finalist for the prestigious Audie Award for best narration. He has had acting roles off-Broadway and on stage and screen throughout the country.

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