Overview

The first breath after the fall doesn't feel like a miracle. It feels like theft. Survival isn't noble-it's jagged, brutal, and haunted by every ghost you tried to bury. In this searing memoir, Christopher Carazas takes us inside the silence after collapse: years of abuse, the weaponization of his autism, and the knife-edge moments where he nearly gave up for good. What follows isn't tidy redemption-it's the unglamorous grind of clawing back breath, love, and identity. Told with haunting honesty and lyrical force, Now That I'm Still Here is more than a survival story. It's a lifeline. A reminder that even when the dark whispers you're too much, your breath is still enough.

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Reviews

""It wrecked me. Then it rebuilt me."" - Daniel R.""As someone who's also crawled out of the wreckage, I saw myself in every shadow and every shard. Thank you for writing what so many of us couldn't say."" - Monique S.""This memoir functions as both a deeply personal narrative and a cultural artifact, offering nuanced insights into trauma, neurodivergence, and resilience. The lyrical structure mirrors the fragmentation of memory itself."" - Dr. James R.""Carazas doesn't flinch from the dark-but he refuses to let it have the last word. A stunning debut that belongs on every memoir shelf."" - Dr. Alisha B.""If ink could bleed, it would spell this memoir."" - Melissa Chang""From an aspiring writer, this is the kind of writing that makes you want to quit... or get better. No in-between."" - Alana T. ""Shadow is the unsung hero of this story, and I'd read an entire book just about her. But the rest? Beautiful, brutal, unforgettable."" - Brian K.""Carazas navigates the wreckage of abuse, loss, and identity with the precision of a poet and the tenacity of someone who's refused to be erased. This is memoir as resistance."" - Rachel Mendez""Now That I'm Still Here: The only book that made me cry, cheer, and Google 'how to adopt a German Shepherd' in the same sitting."" - Chris D.""As a book blogger, it's rare to find a book that feels like both an elegy and a love letter. This is one."" - Amira H.

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