Overview

IMAGINARY PROBLEMS ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS KIND. That's why no one is supposed to notice them. Hidden inside the federal bureaucracy is a quiet agency tasked with handling things that must not be acknowledged, because the moment they become real, they become powerful. Cryptids, buried histories, unexplained phenomena, rumors that refuse to stay rumors: the Bureau of Imaginary Problems exists to ensure these things remain effectively imaginary. Most days, that means paperwork. And cake. And pretending nothing happened. But when a routine investigation uncovers connections between old legends, polluted creeks, forgotten civilizations, and creatures that refuse to stay in one story or one timeline; the Bureau faces its worst fear: a problem that keeps being believed. As cryptids negotiate their place in the modern world, Time itself pushes back against containment, and oversight committees demand answers they don't want, the Bureau must do what it has always done best: smooth reality, bury the truth, and protect the public from stories that could make the world unmanageable. Because belief creates meaning. Meaning creates agency. And some problems can only be solved if everyone agrees they were imaginary all along. Darkly comic, sharply satirical, and unsettlingly plausible, Nothing Happened and This Is the Report is an urban fantasy about myth, memory, and the dangerous comfort of not knowing-where the greatest threat isn't what lurks in the shadows, but what happens when people start paying attention. After-action paperwork pending.

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