Overview

Forget everything you thought you knew about mindfulness. This is not your grandma's self-help book, unless your grandma was a Caribbean-born shamanic priestess who hopped fences in Greece, negotiated with gangster monkeys in India, quoted scripture and quantum physics in the same breath, and still handed you the exact moves to get over that broke-AF toxic ex and actually pay your bills. Mindless As Fu*k is what happens when shadow work meets stand-up comedy, where spiritual tools come with side-eye, scientific receipts, and results you can feel not just in your chakras, but in your credit score too. Expect ear-plug enlightenment for loud-ass people with even louder thoughts. Chakra realignment without the overpriced yoni eggs. Practical rituals served with ancestral sass and real-life truth bombs. And an explanation why the watered-down version of ""mindfulness"" you've been sold might be the very thing sabotaging your meditation practice. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll stage your own intervention and maybe light a candle just in case. But most of all, you'll remember who the fu*k you are, stop outsourcing your power, and take back your life.

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9781972286005

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Evelyn Elphia is an author, holistic private chef, and nature-based healthy lifestyle consultant working with everyday people as well as high-profile private clients and discerning public figures. A former private chef for Lauren and Dwayne Johnson and Will Smith, she blends food as medicine, grounded spiritual practice, Hermetic insight, and Ayurvedic wisdom into science-backed, no-nonsense tools that help her clients maintain health, restore balance, and reclaim their power. Born in the rainforest of Saint Lucia, Evelyn's work is grounded in her Caribbean Indigenous and African ancestral traditions, shaped by an early connection to nature and plant-based healing. She trained at the Institute of Culinary Education in New York City; the Kerala Ayurvedic Healthcare and Training Institute in Kerala, India; and Sarvaguna Yoga and Meditation Ashram in Dharamsala, India, and has studied with Indigenous and contemporary teachers in various parts of the world. Connect with her online at evelynelphia.com.

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