Overview

What is midlife? A point of existential and psychological crisis? The threshold to our inevitable decline into old age and redundancy? A time of emotional volatility, depression and hormonal upheaval? So much of the medical and media coverage would have us believe. In this challenging and uplifting book, humanistic counsellor Helen Kewell takes a compassionate look at the challenges presented to us, men, women and non-binary folk alike, by our arrival at this major point of transition in adult life. Extending life expectancy and advances in medical science have given us many more years to life than was once the norm. The concept of the 'midlife crisis' wasn't even invented until the mid-1960s. Yet today, most of us in our mid-50s can expect another 30 to 40 years of life. Most of us retire from fulltime employment in our late 60s. We have many more years to live, and much still to contribute to society and to our families. Kewell's message is that these are indeed years to be lived to the full. In these short vignettes fashioned from her casework with clients and her personal experience of midlife, Kewell crafts a story not of decline and disintegration but renewal, revival and new beginnings. With her skilful guidance, her clients unpick and come to terms with what has driven them thus far and throw off the shackles of old ways of being. Yes, the menopause exacts a heavy toll on many women; yes, men also find their accustomed physical strength and social status challenged by their changing hormones. But alongside, there is so much we can add to the years of life ahead, she argues. This sensitive, thoughtful and challenging book addresses a topic rarely discussed from this perspective, bringing to it a counsellor's wisdom, rooted in humanistic and existential theory and personal experience of being female, a mother and amid midlife.

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9781915220493

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Reviews

While developing my own research on the embodied experience of post-menopause, it became clear to me that there is a scarcity of psychotherapeutic literature looking at the existential experience of midlife. Helen Kewell has sought to fill that gap, and achieves it beautifully. Writing as a midlife therapist herself, Kewell wisely avoids the all-good, all-bad dichotomy embraced by too many contemporary writers on this life phase, instead offering a nuanced and thoughtful account of work with midlife clients, in supervision, and in her own therapy. Gratifyingly, she also acknowledges that much recent focus has been limited far too often to the menopausal transition of white, cisgender, middle-class women. Including thinking on working with men, queer people, and Black and minoritised clients, she offers a book that might support all of us to better attend to the work we co-create with people within and without the mainstream narrative. Dr Stella Duffy, psychotherapist, author and researcher Midlife can seem like a daunting time of crisis, but Helen Kewell's book will take you on an adventurous journey through the wilderness of midlife transitions. Whether you are a practitioner or someone poised at this cusp of life, this book will open your eyes to the possibilities and opportunities that are on offer, especially if you are in search of understanding and want to learn more about the meaning of human existence.  Professor Emmy van Deurzen, Founder/Director of the Existential Academy, psychologist, existential psychotherapist and author Helen Kewell artfully weaves personal experience, therapeutic dialogue and lived experience with scientific knowledge, psychological theories, contemporary commentary and existential philosophy in her exploration of the midlife. Each chapter focuses on a different element of the experience and Helen looks at how this phase of life impacts work, the experience of the body, sex, sexuality and intimate relationships and the process of ageing and gaining wisdom. She guides you through the inevitable layers of the experience and leaves you with a greater understanding of this often-overlooked period of human life. Written in an accessible way, it is ideal for anyone interested in the topic, and essential reading for therapists wishing to gain a deeper understanding of their clients who are currently in or facing this stage of life.  Dr Claire Arnold-Baker, Principal, New School of Psychotherapy and Counselling, and counselling psychologist, existential psychotherapist and author We are learning to take the stigma our of seeking help with our mindsets but we still have a long way to go. Mix this with the hormonal changes we all experience in midlife –it’s amazing not more people reach crisis point at this time. This book is an excellent exploration of being human and making the most of midlife, not allowing the past to dictate how we live in the future.  I love the way Helen Kewell uses examples from her own work to show just how normal it is to talk to someone outside our ‘inner circles’ and make good use of it for us and those around us. She is very human herself, and this in itself makes her and those like her much more accessible. I also like her approach to the body being a great guide to how we are really feeling. I hope the book encourages more people to seek out the many huge benefits of talking therapy can give.  Sally Gunnell OBE, Health and wellbeing coach

Author Information

Helen Kewell is a humanistic counsellor and supervisor with a private practice in Sussex, specialising in life transitions and ageing. She is also an educator and a management consultant specialising in people and organisational change. Her previous book, Living Well and Dying Well, is also published by PCCS Books (2019).

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