Overview

Kristin Williams is 38, naked, and has officially run out of reasons to care what you think. Welcome to her unfiltered, wildly inappropriate, oddly educational, and absolutely liberating guide to baring it all-emotionally, physically, and sometimes in front of unsuspecting neighbors. From backyard wrestling matches gone wrong (there were bruises, and possibly a fart) to nude beach showdowns, tragic waxing appointments, and the secret horror of sitting on leather seats in summer, Kristin takes you on a tour through the chaotic beauty of naked living. She's got friends who are instigators, enemies who bring snacks, and ex-boyfriends who've been judged in butt contests. No one is safe. Not even you. What you'll learn inside this book: How to walk into a nudist resort without tripping over your own pants Why buffalo chicken pizza can heal most emotional wounds The emotional consequences of body lotion and too much honesty How to win an argument using only your elbows and well-timed flatulence Why gravity is real, and Susan's butt can't be trusted Part memoir, part how-not-to manual, and part naked manifesto, Bruises, Boobs, and Butts is for anyone who's ever stood in front of a mirror and thought, ""What the hell is going on back there?"" It's for the overthinkers, the chronic apologizers, and anyone who's ever wrestled their Spanx in a parking lot bathroom. Read it alone. Read it naked. Read it with a friend you once tackled over a disagreement about hummus. Just don't read it clothed and afraid. That defeats the whole purpose. Get ready to laugh, cringe, scream ""SAME,"" and possibly throw out your underwear drawer. Your dignity won't survive, but your soul will thank you.

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