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The panic would set in and my mind raced. My heart feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest, the cold sweats and the uncontrollable shaking. I remember thinking, Why? Why, me? I never thought this could happen in real life. This is like something out of a movie. How could both parents abandon me? How could my adult relationships follow the same abusive patterns? Why am I alone? Why was I never enough? How did I let my life get to this point? Abuse, homelessness, more abuse, bulimia, cheating, promiscuity, being a single mom with no money, more abuse and the list goes on. One bad situation after another and nobody to turn to. How in the world am I going to survive this? I can't do this anymore as I shoved the handful of pills into my mouth and chugged almost a whole bottle of vodka before I drifted into numbness. This is my story of physical and emotional abuse, my desperate attempts to be loved and the chain of events that made me who I am today. I made it.

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