Overview

Life is tough when you're an eldritch abomination. Trillin isn't technically a person. She's a tiny breakaway piece of consciousness from the all-devouring Endless, doomed to eventually rejoin it. But when a human witch stumbles into her world, Trillin suddenly has a new reason to figure out individuality--one shape-shifting tentacle at a time. Sian is sure important magical discoveries are just around the corner, if she can just get her portals to work reliably. Reaching the dimension of the Endless without being eaten on sight is a dream come true, and Sian is determined to explore every bit of it. For science, of course, not for the strangely adorable life-form who keeps popping up and trying to . . . flirt? But Trillin's world can be a dangerous place, and keeping Sian safe might risk drawing the attention of the Endless itself--which will swallow Trillin up along with all her dreams of humanity. Together, can this unlikely duo escape the Endless, figure out the optimum number of appendages, and maybe even find love? How to Get a Girlfriend (When You're a Terrifying Monster) is a sapphic cozy fantasy romance between a witch scientist and a shape-shifting Cthulhu monster.

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Marie Cardno writes cozy fantasy that will sneak up behind you steal away a piece of your heart. She lives halfway between the sea in one direction and a French bakery in the other, and faces the challenges this poses with absolutely zero strength of will. Her books combine her lifelong love of fantasy stories with joy in the weird and wonderful. Marie's debut, How to Get a Girlfriend (When You're a Terrifying Monster) won Best Novella at the 2023 Sir Julius Vogel Awards. Natalie Beran is a voice-over artist, actor, and international radio announcer/producer with a radio career spanning over fifteen years. Her voice has been featured in commercials for iHeart Radio, NZ Lotto, Les Mills, McDonald's, and Southern Comfort. She has narrated many audiobooks, including Menticide: The Awakening, Small Acts of Kindness, Tears Are Only Water, Pet, and Paper Cage, to name a few. She has voiced for video games including Warhammer 40K: Darktide, Sherlock Holmes, Robocop: Rogue City, and Blasphemous II, plus game titles soon to be released. She plays series regular Katherine Hillard in Power Rangers: The Audio Drama, along with narrating Haunting of Selene and Easthaven Eight. Her animation work includes Milo the Mechanic and Homebird, along with various ADR and film projects. Natalie is a graduate of the AMDA NY, a Globe International Actors fellow, BAFTA member, and SOVAS Voice Arts Award nominee.

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