Overview

An innovative, trauma-informed approach to resolving chronic shame and guilt An innovative, trauma-informed approach to resolving chronic shame and guilt Shame and guilt are core emotions that can significantly limit our lives- They diminish our capacity for intimacy, trust, and connection. They fuel anxiety. They contribute to relationship struggles and amplify issues at work. And yet, we may not even be aware of the self-shaming habits that cause our distress! In this book, therapists Laurence Heller, PhD, and Stephan K. Niederwieser provide practical tools for identifying and treating chronic shame using the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM). Part 1 of the book explains how guilt and shame are not actually emotions, but rather should be seen as experiences that take root in our brains and bodies. Heller and Niederwieser show how shame is learned in childhood and processed as we grow up, emphasizing that shame has nothing to do with who we truly are. Part 2 of the book-designed for therapists and clinicians-provides an in-depth, practical guide for addressing chronic shame using the NARM approach. Originally designed for treating C-PTSD or developmental trauma, NARM identifies and strengthens our core drive for connection and healing. Going far beyond self-affirmations or boosting esteem, the NARM approach to overcoming chronic shame targets the roots rather than just the symptoms, helping us truly shed shame, develop self-confidence, and find inner peace.

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Table of Contents

Reviews

""This elegantly succinct book is the most straightforward yet deepest work on shame and its resolution that I have ever read. [Shame is] not a 'deserved' consequence of our shortcomings but a process adapted during early development—a process we unwittingly continue to generate throughout life. Chronic shame becomes amenable to healing as guided by the astute advice the authors provide. They grant us the agency to heal ourselves."" —Gabor Maté, MD, author of The Myth of Normal and In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts ""Shame and guilt are often invisible burdens, shaping our lives in ways we don't always see. In Healing Shame and Guilt, Dr. Heller provides a compassionate and practical guide to understanding and healing these hidden wounds. Having worked closely with him, I know his insights are grounded in decades of pioneering trauma work, and his message offers real hope to anyone seeking freedom and wholeness."" —Sean Walsh, former CEO of The Meadows Behavioral Healthcare

""This elegantly succinct book is the most straightforward yet deepest work on shame and its resolution that I have ever read. [Shame is] not a 'deserved' consequence of our shortcomings but a process adapted during early development—a process we unwittingly continue to generate throughout life. Chronic shame becomes amenable to healing as guided by the astute advice the authors provide. They grant us the agency to heal ourselves."" —Gabor Maté, MD, author of The Myth of Normal and In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts ""Shame and guilt are often invisible burdens, shaping our lives in ways we don't always see. In Healing Shame and Guilt, Dr. Heller provides a compassionate and practical guide to understanding and healing these hidden wounds. Having worked closely with him, I know his insights are grounded in decades of pioneering trauma work, and his message offers real hope to anyone seeking freedom and wholeness."" —Sean Walsh, former CEO of The Meadows Behavioral Healthcare ""In this illuminating book, Dr. Laurence Heller and Stephan Niederwieser guide readers toward a new understanding—and experience—of shame. The authors underline the role of this important emotion, beautifully illustrating the ways chronic shame can become a deeply engrained, recurrent inner process for many people. I believe this book will serve as a timely resource for professionals as they guide their clients to fully express their inner love, compassion, and clarity. In revealing the hidden architecture of how shame and also guilt are structured within each of us, Laurence and Stephan have underlined the critical role shame plays in allowing us as individuals—and collectives—to experience greater freedom and expression, as well as promoting our full agency and innate capacities of intelligence. A tremendous gift to all of us."" —Thomas Hübl, PhD, author Healing Collective Trauma and Releasing our Burdens

Author Information

DR. LAURENCE HELLER is the creator of the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM ) and Founder of the NARM Training Institute. Dr. Heller has conducted NARM trainings and case consultations for thousands of therapists throughout the United States and Europe. He is coauthor of Healing Developmental Trauma and Crash Course, and most recently The Practical Guide for Healing Developmental Trauma. The book presents one of the first comprehensive therapeutic models for addressing complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). STEPHAN KONRAD NIEDERWIESER is a NARM Master Practitioner. He provides advanced seminars, individual and group supervision, and certifies future NARM Master Practitioners. In his private practice in Berlin, Germany, he supports individuals in freeing themselves from the lasting effects of early trauma, chronic shame and guilt. Niederweisser has written several books on healing from the effects of developmental trauma.

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