Overview

Why are we so afraid to ask for help, when the cost of staying silent could be a matter of life and death? Matt de la Peña's Mexican WhiteBoy meets Kathleen Glasgow's You'd Be Home By Now (or Mandy McGinnis's Heroine) in this tender and heartrending novel about what it means to be open to receiving the love and care that is all around us when we hit rock bottom. A fiercely honest and spirited debut that shines a spotlight onto mental illness, the cost of keeping secrets, and childhood trauma, through the hopeful eyes of 18-year-old high school wrestling star, Klay Atwater. Klay is destined for greatness, with his eye on the prize - the nation's top-rated wrestling program at Penn State. He's also got his eye on Kassie, his adoring, patient girlfriend - and the only person who has ever made him feel safe and loved. Klay's past and home life are a far cry from his school persona - his dad remarried, but the death of his mother from drug use haunts them both. When she died, Klay was just a little boy, his dad unable to handle the stress of parenting under the crushing weight of grief. It's all seemingly in the past. Until now. Klay can't breathe. He can't move. He can't think. What's happening to him? Wrestling used to be his medicine, but now he can't even imagine getting on the mat without freezing up. Was he ever good at it in the first place? Was it all an illusion? As Klay begins to unravel, the people closest to him struggle to understand his erratic and sometimes violent behavior. His girlfriend Kassie and his best friend Jace sense the emptiness in Klay's eyes, unable to break through to him. Klay has no one to turn to, except for maybe one person, but betrayal after betrayal drives him further into a shame spiral that feels like quicksand. He's got to find a way out.

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