Overview

Are you enjoying your relationship - or enduring it? Most people know the answer. Most people have never said it out loud. ESCAPE BULLET is the book that says it for you - and then goes further. Further than most relationship books will go. Into the agony of abusive marriages and the psychology of why we chose the person who was capable of that agony. Into the specific profiles of the people you should never choose as a partner - the angry, the addicted, the financially chaotic, the serially unfaithful, the values-incompatible, the narcissist. Into the anatomy of the narcissistic husband and the narcissistic wife, chapter by chapter, with clinical precision and pastoral honesty. And further still - into the God-designed architecture of what a thriving relationship actually looks like. Genesis 2:24-25. Ephesians 5:22-33. One flesh. Naked and not ashamed. Roles and submission read honestly rather than weaponised selectively. Intimacy, accountability, sex, radical candour, and the daily work of building something that lasts. THIS BOOK COVERS: - The psychology of choosing wrong: why intelligent people make terrible choices in love, and the neuroscience behind it - The Ten Profiles of who not to choose: the angry person, the addict, the financially unstable, the serial relationship-wrecker, the values-incompatible, the spiritually misaligned, and more - Patterns and family history: the wound that chooses for you - and how to break the cycle - The place of parents: parental influence in partner selection and the serious case for arranged marriage in the modern world - The biblical blueprint for intimacy: Genesis 2:24-25 unpacked - leave, cleave, one flesh, naked and not ashamed - Roles and submission: Ephesians 5:22-33 given its honest bilateral reading - what it actually demands of husbands and what it actually asks of wives - Unity, openness, radical candour, and accountability - the conversations most marriages never have - Sex in the covenant: what the Bible actually says, what you need to discuss before marriage, and what infidelity research reveals about how affairs begin - Enter the narcissist: the anatomy of a narcissistic husband - nine hallmarks, from gaslighting to the idealisation-devaluation cycle - The anatomy of a narcissistic wife: the profile most books ignore, and the male experience that goes unbelieved - The uses of separation: what Moses and the Bible actually permit - and when separation serves restoration versus when it precedes honest ending - Living with a difficult spouse: 1 Peter 3:1-9 read carefully - the difference between difficult and dangerous - Abuse is not a covenant: the most important theological statement in the book - Why marriages end: global divorce data, the leading causes, and what the research reveals about the divorce decision - The hardness of heart: what Jesus actually said in Matthew 19 and what it means for your marriage - The true cost of divorce: children, money, and the soul cost most people underestimate - Healing from a failed marriage: the stages of post-marital grief, the inventory of responsibility, and reconstructing your identity - Before you love again: six specific guidelines to forestall repeating what broke you This book carries two subtitles - ENDURING RELATIONSHIP and ENJOYING RELATIONSHIP. Choose the one that names your chapter. Both lead to the same destination: a love you do not have to survive. Grounded in Scripture. Backed by research from Gottman, Fisher, van der Kolk, Wallerstein, Bancroft, Herman, and others. Written with the urgency of a prophet, the care of a pastor, and the honesty of someone who has sat with enough broken marriages to know that the truth, told without flinching, is the most loving thing available. For singles. For married couples. For survivors. For counsellors and pastors who need a resource that goes all the way in.

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