Overview

WARNING ADULT CONTENT - Trevor Malloy is just your average dead-inside council admin from the crumbling northern town of Smackleton - single, depressed, and one Greggs sausage roll away from a breakdown. Then one night, he smokes crack. Now he's hurtling face-first into the seedy underbelly of small-town Britain: from pimping his girlfriend out of a stolen ice cream van to launching a crypto-dogging empire called DoggChain. Along the way, he botches robberies, runs a cactus porn studio in a garden centre, sells fake funerals to real pensioners, and starts an OnlyFans agency for people with extremely niche fetishes. He's a crackhead. He's a criminal. He's also absolutely fucking useless. A blisteringly filthy dark comedy full of swearing, sex, stupidity, and spice, CRACKHEAD is what happens when Trainspotting shags The Office behind a Wetherspoons bin. It's bleak, brilliant, and outrageously funny. Warning: Not for the easily offended. Or the moderately offended. Or really, anyone who thinks ""that's a bit much."" Rumour has it CRACKHEAD might be heading to TV soon. So read it now before it gets banned, burned, or turned into a rubbish TV version starring a bloke who was an extra in Eastenders in 1987! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ""I laughed so hard I pissed myself. Twice."" - Janice, Amazon Verified Reviewer & part-time bingo caller ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ""Like Trainspotting, but with more Greggs, crack, and cum jokes. A masterpiece."" - Dave in Hull, currently on bail ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ""Offensive, obscene, morally bankrupt - 10/10."" - Guardian Reader who won't admit they loved it ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ""I was reading this on the bus and laughed so hard I farted. No regrets."" - Sharon B, NHS admin, bladder control issues ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ ""This book cured my depression. Or gave me a new, funnier one. Either way, thanks."" - Colin, failed magician, full-time legend ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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