Overview

An exploration of the messy but liberating process of defining and decentring inner narratives of shame, fear and regret for one’s own queer identity. Queerphobic and transphobic messaging can arrive from nearly any direction, and once queer and trans people are exposed to the fear, disgust and judgement people have for otherness, it can easily fester into internalized oppression.  In a society that promotes the narrative of self-loathing queers, loving and accepting ourselves can be hard to imagine, let alone achieve. Author and activist Mx. Nillin Lore has first-hand insight into the complex inner journey of decluttering the guilt, shame and anxiety that can feed our inner discriminator, and in Carry On, they provide a guided expedition through the source material of our own erasure.  A self-reflective journey and a toolset for dismantling inflammatory inner frameworks, this is a practical and encouraging guide for those ready and willing to unpack their internalized queerphobic and transphobic baggage.

Full Product Details

9781990869853

Table of Contents

Reviews

""The warm and informative self-help book Carry On brims with supportive words for queer and trans people, drawing on scholarship, stories, and advice from activist Nillin Lore and others... It celebrates queer heroes in accessible, sometimes punchy language, and it notes that 'Choosing to be affirming, welcoming, uplifting, inspiring and caring in the face of all the adversity that we experience is a true fucking power move.' It even closes with five final affirmations. A compassionate self-help book, Carry On gathers advice from diverse role models on navigating contemporary queer life.""—Meredith Grahl Counts, Foreword “This book is like sitting down with a friend at 2 a.m. and having one of those real chats—you know, the ones that have you laughing, crying and reflecting all at the same time. Nillin takes you on a journey through all the challenges and barriers and beauty of being queer and trans, and they are your cheerleader every step of the way.”—Andrew Gurza, author of Notes From a Queer Cripple “Whether you are trans, nonbinary, queer, or figuring it all out, Carry On is the supportive friend you need for journeying through life (while ensuring your baggage fits in the overhead compartment!). Nillin Lore offers vulnerable experiences and a gentle sense of humor throughout, alongside practical advice and useful resources. It is not only a guiding hand for those who personally resonate with the identities discussed, but also for those who (like me) want to better inform their solidarity with 2SLGBTQ+ loved ones.”—Kitty Stryker, author of Love Rebels: How I Learned to Burn It Down Without Burning Out “An affirming, nurturing, generous-spirited handbook that will help many queer people navigate brutal political times.""—Dr. Kit Heyam, author of Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender “Let Mx. Nillin Lore guide you with humor, kindness, wisdom, and skill through the tricky landscape of navigating and unpacking internalized transphobia and queerphobia. In this book, they will take you on a journey weaving lived experiences, theory, and the kind of good advice that every trans and queer person deserves to have at the ready on their bedside table whenever the hate and systemic violence towards us starts to seep in through the cracks. Now more than ever we need the expansive breath of joy and authenticity that this book delivers so beautifully on such heavy topics.""—Alex Iantaffi, therapist, author, and creator of the Gender Stories podcast “For those who feel they are too much, or not enough, Lore offers insight, solidarity, and hope.”—TC Oakes-Monger, author of All The Things They Said We Couldn't Have: Stories of Trans Joy “Carry On covers the heavy topics of internalised transphobia and queerphobia with grace and empathy. It is honest about the trauma that comes with being 2SLGBTQ+ in a hostile world while always remaining fiercely hopeful for the future.”—Kelvin Sparks, author of Trans Sex: A Guide for Adults “Honest, practical, and deeply affirming, Carry On guides you through the messy, liberating work of decentering shame narratives and rebuilding inner safety. A must-read for 2SLGBTQ+ folks who want real tools, not platitudes.”—Rahim Thawer, MSW RSW, author of The Mental Health Guide for Cis and Trans Queer Guys “As queer people, we are continuously surrounded by messaging that implies—subtly or not-so-subtly—that there is something wrong with us. While it would be great to simply choose not to be affected by it, sadly humans don't work that way. Nillin's book is a clear, compassionate, deeply researched and pragmatic guide to unpacking this internalized queerphobia and transphobia—baggage that we never wanted but that society forced on us. I recommend it to any queer or trans human who is trying to grapple with the messy business of loving themselves in a world that doesn't make it easy.”—Amy Norton, sex and relationships writer “The validation LGBTQ+ people need. Carry On is a warm hug from someone who knows how important hugs can be, advice for navigating a hostile world, and a story of perseverance. Lore sees the future beyond the struggle and shows it to us.”—Alyssa Gonzalez, author of Nonmonogamy and Neurodiversity “Carry On cuts through the noise and speaks directly to the wounds we hide while offering a clear path forward. This guide explores the roots of internalized queerphobia and transphobia and gives readers the tools to tear them out. Anyone ready to confront the stories that have held them back will find their lives changed by these pages.”—Sandy Lowe, author and editor “A valuable guide for breaking down social pressures and expectations, laying out specific transphobic and queerphobic beliefs in plain language and exposing the underlying fear. Lore does not shy away from the sticky business of how harmful actions can also come from within our own LGBTQ+ community.”—Tamara Pincus, social worker and author of It’s Called Polyamory “Carry On invites each of us—regardless of identity—to embrace who we are and widen our circle of empathy beyond the limits of ourselves. For us cishet readers, Nillin Lore offers an intimate window into the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of people we might unknowingly overlook or exclude.”—Ryan Cho, author of Brotherhood is a Constant Possibility: Asian Masculinity in a World Made for Whiteness

""The warm and informative self-help book Carry On brims with supportive words for queer and trans people, drawing on scholarship, stories, and advice from activist Nillin Lore and others... It celebrates queer heroes in accessible, sometimes punchy language, and it notes that 'Choosing to be affirming, welcoming, uplifting, inspiring and caring in the face of all the adversity that we experience is a true fucking power move.' It even closes with five final affirmations. A compassionate self-help book, Carry On gathers advice from diverse role models on navigating contemporary queer life.""—Meredith Grahl Counts, Foreword

""The warm and informative self-help book Carry On brims with supportive words for queer and trans people, drawing on scholarship, stories, and advice from activist Nillin Lore and others... It celebrates queer heroes in accessible, sometimes punchy language, and it notes that 'Choosing to be affirming, welcoming, uplifting, inspiring and caring in the face of all the adversity that we experience is a true fucking power move.' It even closes with five final affirmations. A compassionate self-help book, Carry On gathers advice from diverse role models on navigating contemporary queer life.""—Meredith Grahl Counts, Foreword “This book is like sitting down with a friend at 2 a.m. and having one of those real chats—you know, the ones that have you laughing, crying and reflecting all at the same time. Nillin takes you on a journey through all the challenges and barriers and beauty of being queer and trans, and they are your cheerleader every step of the way.”—Andrew Gurza, author of Notes From a Queer Cripple “Whether you are trans, nonbinary, queer, or figuring it all out, Carry On is the supportive friend you need for journeying through life (while ensuring your baggage fits in the overhead compartment!). Nillin Lore offers vulnerable experiences and a gentle sense of humor throughout, alongside practical advice and useful resources. It is not only a guiding hand for those who personally resonate with the identities discussed, but also for those who (like me) want to better inform their solidarity with 2SLGBTQ+ loved ones.”—Kitty Stryker, author of Love Rebels: How I Learned to Burn It Down Without Burning Out “An affirming, nurturing, generous-spirited handbook that will help many queer people navigate brutal political times.""—Dr. Kit Heyam, author of Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender “Let Mx. Nillin Lore guide you with humor, kindness, wisdom, and skill through the tricky landscape of navigating and unpacking internalized transphobia and queerphobia. In this book, they will take you on a journey weaving lived experiences, theory, and the kind of good advice that every trans and queer person deserves to have at the ready on their bedside table whenever the hate and systemic violence towards us starts to seep in through the cracks. Now more than ever we need the expansive breath of joy and authenticity that this book delivers so beautifully on such heavy topics.""—Alex Iantaffi, therapist, author, and creator of the Gender Stories podcast “For those who feel they are too much, or not enough, Lore offers insight, solidarity, and hope.”—TC Oakes-Monger, author of All The Things They Said We Couldn't Have: Stories of Trans Joy “Carry On covers the heavy topics of internalised transphobia and queerphobia with grace and empathy. It is honest about the trauma that comes with being 2SLGBTQ+ in a hostile world while always remaining fiercely hopeful for the future.”—Kelvin Sparks, author of Trans Sex: A Guide for Adults “Honest, practical, and deeply affirming, Carry On guides you through the messy, liberating work of decentering shame narratives and rebuilding inner safety. A must-read for 2SLGBTQ+ folks who want real tools, not platitudes.”—Rahim Thawer, MSW RSW, author of The Mental Health Guide for Cis and Trans Queer Guys “As queer people, we are continuously surrounded by messaging that implies—subtly or not-so-subtly—that there is something wrong with us. While it would be great to simply choose not to be affected by it, sadly humans don't work that way. Nillin's book is a clear, compassionate, deeply researched and pragmatic guide to unpacking this internalized queerphobia and transphobia—baggage that we never wanted but that society forced on us. I recommend it to any queer or trans human who is trying to grapple with the messy business of loving themselves in a world that doesn't make it easy.”—Amy Norton, sex and relationships writer “The validation LGBTQ+ people need. Carry On is a warm hug from someone who knows how important hugs can be, advice for navigating a hostile world, and a story of perseverance. Lore sees the future beyond the struggle and shows it to us.”—Alyssa Gonzalez, author of Nonmonogamy and Neurodiversity “Carry On cuts through the noise and speaks directly to the wounds we hide while offering a clear path forward. This guide explores the roots of internalized queerphobia and transphobia and gives readers the tools to tear them out. Anyone ready to confront the stories that have held them back will find their lives changed by these pages.”—Sandy Lowe, author and editor “Carry On invites each of us—regardless of identity—to embrace who we are and widen our circle of empathy beyond the limits of ourselves. For us cishet readers, Nillin Lore offers an intimate window into the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of people we might unknowingly overlook or exclude.”—Ryan Cho, author of Brotherhood is a Constant Possibility: Asian Masculinity in a World Made for Whiteness

Author Information

Mx. Nillin Lore (they/them) is an AuDHD, trans and queer activist, advocate, and educator based in Saskatoon, SK. They are the author of How Do I Sexy? A Guide for Trans and Nonbinary Queers, Carry On: Unpacking Your Internalized Transphobic and Queerphobic Baggage and Nonmonogamy and Queer Inclusivity. Andrew Gurza is an award-winning disability awareness consultant and activist who focuses on the intersections of disability and sexuality. He is the author of Notes From A Queer Cripple: How to Cultivate Queer Disabled Joy (and Be Hot While Doing It!). Andrea Zanin, MA, is a queer writer who focuses on nonmonogamy and BDSM/Leather. Andrea has written for the Globe and Mail, The Tyee, Bitch, Ms., Xtra, IN Magazine, Outlooks Magazine and the Montreal Mirror. Their scholarly work, fiction and essays appear in a variety of collections. Andrea blogs at sexgeek.wordpress.com, where they created the 10 Rules for Happy Nonmonogamy and coined the term “polynormativity.”

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