Overview

This intimate collection of poems traces the raw inner life of a person learning to breathe again after heartbreak, betrayal, trauma, and change. Written in a direct, unfiltered voice, Elliot Gorman moves through jealousy, self-blame, panic attacks, and the quiet ache of missing someone who is still very much alive in your memory. Across these pages, love shows up in many forms, messy first love, queer longing, friendships that feel like home, and the fierce bond between a person and the version of themselves they're trying to grow into. We see the sting of being left, the burn of self-inflicted wounds, and the haunting imprint of experiences that feel like ghosts on the skin. There are poems that speak to the panic of an ""attack,"" the ache of trying to ""function"" while covered in reminders of someone, and the desperate need for simple, honest closure. But this isn't just poetry about pain. Elliot also celebrates warmth and connection: the comfort of friends whose laughter fills a room, the bright ""yellow"" of someone who feels like sunlight, the ocean as a place where thoughts quiet long enough to feel okay, and the fragile hope that a damaged world might still be worth saving. Even in loneliness, there is an observing self, a ""lonely wall"" that witnesses growth, a voice that keeps watching, naming, and surviving. Elliot Gorman's poems don't offer easy answers, but they offer recognition. They say, ""You're not alone in this,"" and invite you to sit with the feelings you've been trying not to name, until you're finally ready to breathe again. Note: This collection contains themes of self-harm, trauma, and anxiety, portrayed with emotional honesty.

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