Overview

As one of the few pediatric palliative care doctors in the United States, Bob Macauley was used to people saying, ""I'm so glad I don't have your job."" To which he would explain that palliative care is more about living than dying, then offer to share some of the inspiring stories he witnessed on a daily basis. He might mention that also being an Episcopal priest helped him console people in the hardest situations. But he never revealed the true reason for his career choice: he didn't want anyone else to hurt the way he had when he was a kid.

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9781594981517

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Reviews

A luminous meditation on the beauty of life, even in its most wrenching moments. Kirkus Reviews A huge, sincere, sprawling, delicate accomplishment. Maggie Edson, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Wit A tender, raw, personal, and deeply sophisticated inquiry into life and loss. Robin Oliveira, author of A Wild and Heavenly Place and Winter Sisters This book is for anyone who seeks inspiration for what it means to be a loving witness to the struggle of others and how we can be transformed by such presence. Blyth Lord, Executive Director of the Courageous Parents Network A profound and totally engrossing exploration of the painful yet beautiful world of children facing serious illness. To their remarkable courage, Bob Macauley adds his own fascinating journey, not only as the doctor who cares for them but someone in need of healing, too. Elisha Waldman, MD, author of This Narrow Space: A Pediatric Oncologist, His Jewish, Muslim, and Christian Patients, and a Hospital in Jerusalem With tenderness, grace, and hard-won insight, Dr. Macauley shares with us his painful yet life-celebrating journey with terminally ill children. Amid tragedy, he insists on each patient's humanity, uncovering what they love, what they dream to be, discovering with them ways in which to fit their dreams into their brief yet abundant lives. The core of this mesmerizing and unexpectedly uplifting book is what these children teach him. Their courage, their insistence on life lived with joy, changes the good doctor who possesses a painful past, indeed heals the good doctor. Connie May Fowler, author of Before Women had Wings and A Million Fragile Bones By reminding us what really matters and inspiring us to make a difference when we are most needed, Because I Knew You turns grief into courage and hardship into hope. Stephen P. Kiernan, author of Last Rights: Rescuing the end of life from the medical system and The Baker's Secret Part memoir, part manual, Bob's beautiful book will take you all sorts of places that are otherwise very hard to get to. Go! Learn, as the author himself did, how brave, honest, wise, and generous humans can be. BJ Miller, author of A Beginner's Guide to the End and the TED Talk ""What Really Matters at the End of Life"" During his journey of professional development, Robert Macauley honestly explores his own emotional wounds, enabling us to witness how his personal healing becomes a well of compassion and source of therapeutic prowess. Ira Byock, MD, author of The Four Things That Matter Most, Dying Well, and The Best Care Possible

Because I Knew You is an extraordinary memoir-a tender, raw, personal, and deeply sophisticated inquiry into life and loss. The exquisite beauty of these essays expresses an intense striving to understand humanity at its most vulnerable, and it succeeds brilliantly. Stunning in its scope, searing in its vision, this book assumes a humility before all the questions of the eternal. Dr. Robert Macauley writes with feeling about mortality, immortality, pain, love, despair, and hope. Even if life spares you the need to face the deepest challenges presented in Because I Knew You, to read it is to heal from any pain. It is a work for the ages. Robin Oliveira, author of My Name Is Mary Sutter, I Always Loved You, and Winter Sisters A profound and totally engrossing exploration of the painful yet beautiful world of children facing serious illness. To their remarkable courage, Bob Macauley adds his own fascinating journey, not only as the doctor who cares for them but someone in need of healing, too. Elisha Waldman, MD, author of This Narrow Space: A pediatric oncologist, his Jewish, Muslim, and Christian parents, and a hospital in Jerusalem With tenderness, grace, and hard-won insight, Dr. Macauley shares with us his painful yet life-celebrating journey with terminally ill children. Amid tragedy, he insists on each patient's humanity, uncovering what they love, what they dream to be, discovering with them ways in which to fit their dreams into their brief yet abundant lives. The core of this mesmerizing and unexpectedly uplifting book is what these children teach him. Their courage, their insistence on life lived with joy, changes the good doctor who possesses a painful past, indeed heals the good doctor. Connie May Fowler, author of Before Women had Wings and A Million Fragile Bones Dr. Macauley exquisitely relates the stories of captivating children who are living with serious illness and their courageous parents, and shows what the care experience can look like and become when a doctor accompanies them open-heartedly in their joy and suffering. Certainly, this is a must-read for anyone considering becoming a clinician; but really, it is for anyone who seeks inspiration for what it means to be a loving witness to the struggles of others and how we can be transformed by such presence. Blyth Lord, Executive Director, Courageous Parents Network By reminding us what really matters and inspiring us to make a difference when we are most needed, Because I Knew You turns grief into courage and hardship into hope. Stephen P. Kiernan, author of Last Rights: Rescuing the end of life from the medical system and The Baker's Secret Part memoir, part manual, Bob's beautiful book will take you all sorts of places that are otherwise very hard to get to. Go! Learn, as the author himself did, how brave, honest, wise, and generous humans can be. BJ Miller, author of A Beginner's Guide to the End and the TED Talk ""What Really Matters at the End of Life"" Robert Macauley melds skills as an ethicist, clinician, and cleric to lovingly care for dying children and their families. His medical practice is meticulous, deft, and delicate, caring for his young patients as one might cradle an injured bird in cupped hands. During his journey of professional development, Macauley honestly explores his own emotional wounds, enabling us to witness how his personal healing becomes a well of compassion and source of therapeutic prowess. Ira Byock, MD, author of The Four Things That Matter Most, Dying Well, and The Best Care Possible

Author Information

Robert Macauley, MD is one of only a few hundred pediatricians in the United States who is board certified in hospice and palliative medicine. After simultaneously attending both medical school and divinity school at Yale, he completed pediatric residency at Johns Hopkins. For over a decade he directed both the Department of Clinical Ethics as well as the Pediatric Palliative Care Team at the University of Vermont. He is now Cambia Health Foundation Endowed Chair in Pediatric Palliative Care at Oregon Health and Science University. He has held leadership roles in a wide variety of national organizations, including serving on the Board of Directors of the American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine (AAHPM) and as Chair of both the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Committee on Bioethics, as well as the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) Hospice and Palliative Medicine Test Writing Committee. He is also an accomplished writer. Having earned an MFA in Fiction from Vermont College of Fine Arts-where he was awarded the Founders Scholarship-he is the author of the definitive textbook in his field (Ethics in Palliative Care: A Complete Guide, Oxford University Press, 2018), as well as over fifty peer-reviewed articles and editorials in the academic literature, in journals such as Pediatrics, Journal of Palliative Medicine, and Journal of Medical Ethics. He was awarded Honorable Mention in the Writer's Digest Short Story competition and has published poetry in journals such as The Red Wheelbarrow. In addition to his medical work, Dr. Macauley is also an Episcopal priest, having served parishes in Maryland, Connecticut, New York, Vermont, and Oregon.

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