Overview

And She Wasn't Damaged is Hagit Vardi's third book. The poems depict the process of awakening to childhood scenes of molestation by her father, and reveal the internal voices Hagit discovers in the journey: The damaged baby who retreats from the world; the vengeful sixteen-year-old who uses writing as a weapon; the self-doubting woman who demands proof; and the angry chorus who refuse to make peace. The journey continues in the voice of a woman who gradually accepts her vulnerabilities. In an epilogue consisting of selected poems from Vardi's fourth book, The Sea Is Your Witness, we meet the mature woman at last able to welcome her ghosts, put the blame where it belongs, and move forward with hope and trust. The book includes poems in the original Hebrew, along with the English translation created in collaboration with Daphna Ben Yosef. This collection gives us a glimpse into the emotional and physical world of those who survive sexual abuse-the self-doubt, self-blame, anger, shame, and despair that arise from the struggle between the need to know and the fear of knowing. While these poems serve as a voice for survivors, they also enlighten us about the intense and lasting effects of abuse, and have deservedly drawn the attention of Israeli mental health professionals and assistance centers for victims of sexual abuse.

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Reviews

Hagit Vardi creates multifaceted, challenging poetry. Not every poet has the courage to dive deep into such a painful place, but her every poem is a diamond filled with a deep sense of awareness, sorrow, sensitivity, and humility toward the self and the world. -Yakir Ben Moshe, poet, and editor of Velo Haya Bah Mum This courageous book is a most moving work in its frankness. The reader cannot remain indifferent to the power of Hagit's words. Her poems arouse anger, pain, sadness, insult, outrage, betrayal, hope, and awakening. Here is an acceptance and an enormous embrace of the wounded soul alongside a powerful therapeutic force. These poems are inspirational-a clarion call to those silent women who have not yet found their voice or their power to emerge from darkness to light. -Ronit Goltzman, Emotional therapist; Music and Movement therapist Sexual trauma is characterized by an inability to put it into words. Repressed from one's conscious mind, it is blurred and inaccessible. When one does have a verbal description, it largely misses the multiple layers of the experience. The words do not adequately transmit the pounding of the heart, the loss of breath, the confusion, anxiety, guilt, shame, and dread. Hagit Vardi achieves the impossible ... for only at the end of each poem does one arrive at the full impact of recognition, when it becomes clear she has captured not only the moment but the reader too. -Shmuel Hirschmann, MD, MPA, Director, Lev HaSharon Mental Health Medical Center Hagit gives an articulate voice to the little girl she once was and the pain of the sexual assault she suffered. The poems clarify for the reader the immense damage that sexual abuse of children causes the body, the identity, and the very depth of the soul. She uses words like a painter to share the abused girl's helpless suffering that rises to her consciousness years later. -Liora Zomer, MA, psychotherapist, art therapist, sexual assault therapistFormer president of Trauma and Dissociation, Israel, and-Eli Zomer, Professor of Clinical Psychology, Haifa University, Former president of the European Society for Trauma and DissociationFormer president of the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation Thank you for sharing this poetry. You have brought clarity, attention, and understanding to a pervasive reality that has festered within our otherwise unconscious workaday world. Through healing yourself you have contributed to healing millions of women and children worldwide who have buried their damaged hearts and selves, unable to recognize an alternative till now. -Abigail H. Natenshon, MA, LCSW, GCFP, Director, Eating Disorder Specialists of Illinois heart strain, feet/Breathing, vomiting, calves/Shuddering, hallucinations, thighs, Hagit Vardi's poetry about childhood sexual abuse by her father is unique and strong. Written in the beautiful script of Hebrew we find ourselves in dream and nightmare translated to English. In Chorus, Single Chorus Member, and Speaker, we recognize our own conflicting inner Voices. In the antithetical meaning of the title, from deep soul devastation to self and soul salvation, from the depth of my wound/I drew will and power , we come away from And She Wasn't Damaged enlightened, in triumph. -Sharon Doubiago, awarded The Oregon Book Award, author of Naked to the Earth (poetry), My Father's Love (memoir)

Hagit Vardi creates multifaceted, challenging poetry. Not every poet has the courage to dive deep into such a painful place, but her every poem is a diamond filled with a deep sense of awareness, sorrow, sensitivity, and humility toward the self and the world. -Yakir Ben Moshe, poet, and editor of Velo Haya Bah Mum This courageous book is a most moving work in its frankness. The reader cannot remain indifferent to the power of Hagit's words. Her poems arouse anger, pain, sadness, insult, outrage, betrayal, hope, and awakening. Here is an acceptance and an enormous embrace of the wounded soul alongside a powerful therapeutic force. These poems are inspirational-a clarion call to those silent women who have not yet found their voice or their power to emerge from darkness to light. -Ronit Goltzman, Emotional therapist; Music and Movement therapist

Hagit Vardi creates multifaceted, challenging poetry. Not every poet has the courage to dive deep into such a painful place, but her every poem is a diamond filled with a deep sense of awareness, sorrow, sensitivity, and humility toward the self and the world. -Yakir Ben Moshe, poet, and editor of Velo Haya Bah Mum This courageous book is a most moving work in its frankness. The reader cannot remain indifferent to the power of Hagit's words. Her poems arouse anger, pain, sadness, insult, outrage, betrayal, hope, and awakening. Here is an acceptance and an enormous embrace of the wounded soul alongside a powerful therapeutic force. These poems are inspirational-a clarion call to those silent women who have not yet found their voice or their power to emerge from darkness to light. -Ronit Goltzman, Emotional therapist; Music and Movement therapist Sexual trauma is characterized by an inability to put it into words. Repressed from one's conscious mind, it is blurred and inaccessible. When one does have a verbal description, it largely misses the multiple layers of the experience. The words do not adequately transmit the pounding of the heart, the loss of breath, the confusion, anxiety, guilt, shame, and dread. Hagit Vardi achieves the impossible ... for only at the end of each poem does one arrive at the full impact of recognition, when it becomes clear she has captured not only the moment but the reader too. -Shmuel Hirschmann, MD, MPA, Director, Lev HaSharon Mental Health Medical Center Hagit gives an articulate voice to the little girl she once was and the pain of the sexual assault she suffered. The poems clarify for the reader the immense damage that sexual abuse of children causes the body, the identity, and the very depth of the soul. She uses words like a painter to share the abused girl's helpless suffering that rises to her consciousness years later. -Liora Zomer, MA, psychotherapist, art therapist, sexual assault therapist; Former president of Trauma and Dissociation, Israel, and -Eli Zomer, Professor of Clinical Psychology, Haifa University, Former president of the European Society for Trauma and Dissociation; Former president of the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation Thank you for sharing this poetry. You have brought clarity, attention, and understanding to a pervasive reality that has festered within our otherwise unconscious workaday world. Through healing yourself you have contributed to healing millions of women and children worldwide who have buried their damaged hearts and selves, unable to recognize an alternative till now. -Abigail H. Natenshon, MA, LCSW, GCFP, Director, Eating Disorder Specialists of Illinois heart strain, feet/Breathing, vomiting, calves/Shuddering, hallucinations, thighs, Hagit Vardi's poetry about childhood sexual abuse by her father is unique and strong. Written in the beautiful script of Hebrew we find ourselves in dream and nightmare translated to English. In Chorus, Single Chorus Member, and Speaker, we recognize our own conflicting inner Voices. In the antithetical meaning of the title, from deep soul devastation to self and soul salvation, from the depth of my wound/I drew will and power , we come away from And She Wasn't Damaged enlightened, in triumph. -Sharon Doubiago, awarded The Oregon Book Award, author of Naked to the Earth (poetry), My Father's Love (memoir)

Hagit Vardi creates multifaceted, challenging poetry. Not every poet has the courage to dive deep into such a painful place, but her every poem is a diamond filled with a deep sense of awareness, sorrow, sensitivity, and humility toward the self and the world. -Yakir Ben Moshe, poet, and editor of Velo Haya Bah Mum This courageous book is a most moving work in its frankness. The reader cannot remain indifferent to the power of Hagit's words. Her poems arouse anger, pain, sadness, insult, outrage, betrayal, hope, and awakening. Here is an acceptance and an enormous embrace of the wounded soul alongside a powerful therapeutic force. These poems are inspirational-a clarion call to those silent women who have not yet found their voice or their power to emerge from darkness to light. -Ronit Goltzman, Emotional therapist; Music and Movement therapist ...heart strain, feet/Breathing, vomiting, calves/Shuddering, hallucinations, thighs, Hagit Vardi's poetry about childhood sexual abuse by her father is unique and strong. Written in the beautiful script of Hebrew we find ourselves in dream and nightmare translated to English. In Chorus, Single Chorus Member, and Speaker, we recognize our own conflicting inner Voices. In the antithetical meaning of the title, from deep soul devastation to self and soul salvation, from the depth of my wound/I drew will and power , we come away from And She Wasn't Damaged enlightened, in triumph. -Sharon Doubiago, awarded The Oregon Book Award, author of Naked to the Earth (poetry), My Father's Love (memoir)

Author Information

Hagit Vardi trained as a flutist and later in the healing arts as a Feldenkrais practitioner. For the past twenty years Hagit has been helping people as a Feldenkrais practitioner (including at the University of Wisconsin Integrative Health program) and has been teaching Feldenkrais for Musicians courses and workshops with her husband, Uri Vardi. In her sixties Vardi started writing poetry as part of her healing process. She has published five books of poetry in Hebrew with Pardes Publishing. Her poems were published in newspapers, literary magazines and on the radio, and attract attention among mental health professionals and the centers of assistance for victims of sexual abuse. Translator and content writer Daphna Ben Yosef (1962 - 2021) had a deep passion towards both Hebrew and English. Ben Yosef earned her degrees in both Theater and Language Interpretation and Translation from Tel Aviv University in Israel. Her translations include The 29% Solution by Ivan R. Misner and Michelle R. Donovan, The Biology of Belief by Bruce H. Lipton, and Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers. Hagit Vardi trained as a flutist and later in the healing arts as a Feldenkrais practitioner. For the past twenty years Hagit has been helping people as a Feldenkrais practitioner (including at the University of Wisconsin Integrative Health program) and has been teaching Feldenkrais for Musicians courses and workshops with her husband, Uri Vardi. In her sixties Vardi started writing poetry as part of her healing process. She has published five books of poetry in Hebrew with Pardes Publishing. Her poems were published in newspapers, literary magazines and on the radio, and attract attention among mental health professionals and the centers of assistance for victims of sexual abuse.

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