Overview

Through the lens of her years spent as a sex worker, Charlotte Shane offers a “rigorous and compulsively readable memoir” (New York magazine) exploring what it means to be a heterosexual woman and a feminist in a misogynistic society. “A memoir of sex work that is also a poignant love story” —The Washington Post In her early twenties, Charlotte Shane quit her women’s studies graduate program to devote herself to sex work because it was a way to devote herself to men. Her lifelong curiosity about male lust, love, selfishness, and social capital dovetailed with her own insatiable desire for intimacy to sustain a long career in escorting, with unexpectedly poignant results. Shane uses her “unsparing honestly” (The New York Times Book Review) and her personal and professional history to examine how men and women struggle in their attempts at a romantic and sexual bonding, no matter how true their intentions. As she takes stock of her relationships—with clients, with her father, with friends, with married men, and later, with her own husband—she tells a candid and haunting tale of love, marriage, and (in)fidelity, as seen through the eyes of the perpetual “other woman.” Braiding the personal and the universal, An Honest Woman is a merciless and moving love letter to men and an indictment of habitual dishonesty, a condemnation of every social constraint acting on heterosexual unions, and a hopeful affirmation of the possibility for true connection between men and women.

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9781982126865

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Reviews

"""With An Honest Woman, Charlotte Shane's already-formidable clarity and grace as a critic and essayist are here turned so honestly, so ruthlessly to an examination of womanhood--of how women make ourselves known to ourselves and to each other under patriarchy. She is one of the very, very few writers I want to read writing about our lives with straight men."" -MELISSA GIRA GRANT, author of Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work and staff writer at The New Republic"

One of the New York Times and New York Magazine/ Vulture's Most Anticipated Books of 2024 “A rigorous and compulsively readable memoir about her career as a sex worker and the possibilities of romantic love between men and women. Shane excavates her relationships with her father and the boys she grew up with, measuring the harm of inherited lessons about sex and the value of girls’ hotness against the power and freedom sex work later afforded her. This personal and professional investigation resonates and entices.” –New York Magazine “Shane’s unsparing honesty illuminates what it means for her to seek love, intimacy and relationships with these men under a cloud of misogyny.”—New York Times Book Review “A memoir of sex work that is also a poignant love story…. A corrective to incurious narratives in which sex work is assumed to be nothing but an unrelenting debasement…. In less than 200 pages, the book manages to be part autobiography, part anthropological investigation and part feminist tract — but centrally, it is a eulogy for Roger, who was Shane’s client for nearly a decade.”—BECCA ROTHFIELD, Washington Post “In compulsively readable, confessional prose, Shane probes her own experiences with desire, being desired, and the desire to be desired. She exposes the ways in which capitalism and patriarchy infect every union.”—Bustle “Astute in her social critiques, the author demonstrates her intuitive understanding of how people can build more fulfilling relationships with one another.... It's funny, authentic, and unequivocally honest. A graceful and candid look into sex, intimacy, misogyny, and identity.” –Kirkus  “Refreshingly, Shane depicts the good of sex work (its liberatory potential, for example) as thoroughly as the bad (its occasional reinforcement of patriarchal structures). This slim volume packs a punch.”—Publishers Weekly  “Shane is an erudite writer, funny and disarming, and her memoir holds space for all of the dualities of love and sex work.” —Booklist “A refreshingly candid and provocative think piece — one that questions the blurry boundaries of attachment when it comes to pleasure, the complicated nature of intimacy, and the murkiness of feelings surrounding who and how we love.” —San Francisco Chronicle  “An Honest Woman fulfills its promise as a memoir about love, lust, and labor—but it’s also a meditation on what it means to truly care for and try to understand each other despite oppressive social and cultural forces.” –Dirt  “Through spare prose and dazzling reflections on Britney Spears and the troubles of girlhood, Shane breaks down the tidy dichotomy of the personal and political.” –Cultured  “Shane seems to be an honest woman, bringing a sense of principled curiosity to the page regardless of her subject matter. Her memoir... is in many ways a love letter to men. It is an inquiry into desirability and an earnest examination of heterosexuality.” –Interview Magazine “With An Honest Woman, Charlotte Shane's already-formidable clarity and grace as a critic and essayist are here turned so honestly, so ruthlessly to an examination of womanhood—of how women make ourselves known to ourselves and to each other under patriarchy. She is one of the very, very few writers I want to read writing about our lives with straight men.” —MELISSA GIRA GRANT, author of Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work and staff writer at The New Republic “The first book I’ve burned through in a single sitting in months. Elegant, candid, merciless and moving—it’s an experience to make a reader reconsider how love works.”—TORREY PETERS, author of Detransition, Baby “I'm in love with Charlotte Shane's writing here, full as it is of clarity, earned beauty, and a deep intelligence at once cerebral and embodied, tender and brutal. I inhaled this book.” —SARAH THANKAM MATTHEWS, author of All This Could Be Different

"One of New York Magazine/ Vulture's Most Anticipated Books of 2024 “A rigorous and compulsively readable memoir about her career as a sex worker and the possibilities of romantic love between men and women. Shane excavates her relationships with her father and the boys she grew up with, measuring the harm of inherited lessons about sex and the value of girls’ hotness against the power and freedom sex work later afforded her. This personal and professional investigation resonates and entices.” –New York Magazine ""In compulsively readable, confessional prose, Shane probes her own experiences with desire, being desired, and the desire to be desired. She exposes the ways in which capitalism and patriarchy infect every union.""--Bustle “Astute in her social critiques, the author demonstrates her intuitive understanding of how people can build more fulfilling relationships with one another.... It's funny, authentic, and unequivocally honest. A graceful and candid look into sex, intimacy, misogyny, and identity.” –Kirkus  “Refreshingly, Shane depicts the good of sex work (its liberatory potential, for example) as thoroughly as the bad (its occasional reinforcement of patriarchal structures). This slim volume packs a punch.”—Publishers Weekly  “Shane is an erudite writer, funny and disarming, and her memoir holds space for all of the dualities of love and sex work.” —Booklist “With An Honest Woman, Charlotte Shane's already-formidable clarity and grace as a critic and essayist are here turned so honestly, so ruthlessly to an examination of womanhood—of how women make ourselves known to ourselves and to each other under patriarchy. She is one of the very, very few writers I want to read writing about our lives with straight men.” —MELISSA GIRA GRANT, author of Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work and staff writer at The New Republic “The first book I’ve burned through in a single sitting in months. Elegant, candid, merciless and moving—it’s an experience to make a reader reconsider how love works.”—TORREY PETERS, author of Detransition, Baby “I'm in love with Charlotte Shane's writing here, full as it is of clarity, earned beauty, and a deep intelligence at once cerebral and embodied, tender and brutal. I inhaled this book.” —SARAH THANKAM MATTHEWS, author of All This Could Be Different"

"One of New York Magazine/ Vulture's Most Anticipated Books of 2024 ""A rigorous and compulsively readable memoir about her career as a sex worker and the possibilities of romantic love between men and women. Shane excavates her relationships with her father and the boys she grew up with, measuring the harm of inherited lessons about sex and the value of girls' hotness against the power and freedom sex work later afforded her. This personal and professional investigation resonates and entices."" -New York Magazine ""With An Honest Woman, Charlotte Shane's already-formidable clarity and grace as a critic and essayist are here turned so honestly, so ruthlessly to an examination of womanhood--of how women make ourselves known to ourselves and to each other under patriarchy. She is one of the very, very few writers I want to read writing about our lives with straight men."" --MELISSA GIRA GRANT, author of Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work and staff writer at The New Republic ""The first book I've burned through in a single sitting in months. Elegant, candid, merciless and moving--it's an experience to make a reader reconsider how love works.""--TORREY PETERS, author of Detransition, Baby ""I'm in love with Charlotte Shane's writing here, full as it is of clarity, earned beauty, and a deep intelligence at once cerebral and embodied, tender and brutal. I inhaled this book."" --SARAH THANKAM MATTHEWS, author of All This Could Be Different"

"""With An Honest Woman, Charlotte Shane's already-formidable clarity and grace as a critic and essayist are here turned so honestly, so ruthlessly to an examination of womanhood--of how women make ourselves known to ourselves and to each other under patriarchy. She is one of the very, very few writers I want to read writing about our lives with straight men."" --MELISSA GIRA GRANT, author of Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work and staff writer at The New Republic ""The first book I've burned through in a single sitting in months. Elegant, candid, merciless and moving--it's an experience to make a reader reconsider how love works.""--TORREY PETERS, author of Detransition, Baby"

Author Information

Charlotte Shane is a nonfiction author and essayist. She is the author of Prostitute Laundry and N.B., both published by TigerBee Press, which she cofounded in 2015. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The New York Times Magazine, The Nation, Bookforum, Harper’s, Sports Illustrated, and elsewhere.

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