Overview

This book was originally written several years ago and began only as an idea to write everything down that I knew about my life and family members. My hope was that the thoughtfully written words might provide me with a clearer understanding of both myself and my family. Since imminent explosive disorder or IED was not a term known in the '50s and '60s, when I was growing up, much of my family's behavior was misunderstood or not understood at all. Throughout the journal, different patterns of abusive behavior were not only revealed but some also as hereditary. The journal took me down a picturesque winding road of self-exploration while also creating a clearer understanding of my actions and place in my family. Suddenly, the guilt, confusion, and personal pain evolved into a genuine understanding of not only myself but also my family. Like so many other families, my story reads like a Shakespearean tragedy. Each actor played his assigned role while embroiled in all the emotions and drama of humanity. The many poems of Meister Eckhart and the mystical life experiences in my life provided me with the empowerment to keep dreaming and trying to climb to a better place. Recently, after careful thought, I decided to move my journal from its carefully hidden shelf and allow it to touch someone else. My prayer is that they will also be helped.

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