Overview

A clinical psychologist's exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of wellbeing. And though she had the benefit of a supportive husband during this transition, she also at times resented the fact that the disruption to his life seemed to pale in comparison to hers. As a clinical psychologist, Molly knew her experience was a normal response to a life-changing event. But without the advantage of such a perspective, many of the patients she treated in her private practice grappled with self-doubt, guilt, and fear, and suffered the dual pain of not only the struggle to adjust but also the overwhelming shame for struggling at all. In To Have and to Hold, Molly explores the complex terrain of new motherhood, illuminating the ways it affects women psychologically, emotionally, physically, and professionally--as well as how it impacts their partnership. Along with the arrival of a bundle of joy come thorny issues such as self-worth, control, autonomy, and dependency. And for most new mothers, these issues are experienced within the context of an intimate relationship, adding another layer of tension, conflict, and confusion to an already challenging time. As Molly examines the inextricable link between women's well-being as new mothers and the well-being of their relationships, she offers guidance to help readers reclaim their identities, overcome their guilt and shame, and repair their relationships. A blend of personal narrative, scientific research, and stories from Molly's clinical practice, To Have and to Hold provides a much-needed lifeline to new mothers everywhere.

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9781982610241

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Reviews

Psychologist Millwood combines her experiences as a mother, the stories of her clients, and professional expertise to consider the challenging transition to motherhood. -- Library Journal Millwood performs a helpful task in giving mothers permission to acknowledge motherhood's darker side, and in offering them help with their marriages as well as their parenting. -- Publishers Weekly An intriguing perspective on the permanent physical and emotional changes a woman experiences after giving birth....Informative, entertaining, and enlightening research and personal reflections on the multifaceted ways children change a person forever. -- Kirkus Review Will speak to so many women's experiences...Exactly what I would be looking for if I were a new mother. -- Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight

Will speak to so many women's experiences...Exactly what I would be looking for if I were a new mother. -- Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight

Psychologist Millwood combines her experiences as a mother, the stories of her clients, and professional expertise to consider the challenging transition to motherhood...Miller's resonant message is that everyone should acknowledge all facets of motherhood, including the negative. -- Library Journal Millwood performs a helpful task in giving mothers permission to acknowledge motherhood's darker side, and in offering them help with their marriages as well as their parenting. -- Publishers Weekly An intriguing perspective on the permanent physical and emotional changes a woman experiences after giving birth....Informative, entertaining, and enlightening research and personal reflections on the multifaceted ways children change a person forever. -- Kirkus Review Will speak to so many women's experiences...Exactly what I would be looking for if I were a new mother. -- Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight

Millwood performs a helpful task in giving mothers permission to acknowledge motherhood's darker side, and in offering them help with their marriages as well as their parenting. -- Publishers Weekly An intriguing perspective on the permanent physical and emotional changes a woman experiences after giving birth....Informative, entertaining, and enlightening research and personal reflections on the multifaceted ways children change a person forever. -- Kirkus Review Will speak to so many women's experiences...Exactly what I would be looking for if I were a new mother. -- Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight

To Have and to Hold will be valuable for new parents and their families alike and will provide reassuring validation for common yet rarely discussed challenges. Beyond that, Millwood's exploration of gender dynamics in relationships and her willingness to look at taboo emotions make this relatable for nonparents as well. -- Booklist (starred review) Psychologist Millwood combines her experiences as a mother, the stories of her clients, and professional expertise to consider the challenging transition to motherhood...Miller's resonant message is that everyone should acknowledge all facets of motherhood, including the negative. -- Library Journal Millwood performs a helpful task in giving mothers permission to acknowledge motherhood's darker side, and in offering them help with their marriages as well as their parenting. -- Publishers Weekly An intriguing perspective on the permanent physical and emotional changes a woman experiences after giving birth....Informative, entertaining, and enlightening research and personal reflections on the multifaceted ways children change a person forever. -- Kirkus Review Will speak to so many women's experiences...Exactly what I would be looking for if I were a new mother. -- Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight

Author Information

Dr. Molly Millwood holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology with advanced specialized training in marital therapy and intimate relationships. After completing a post-doctoral fellowship at Stanford, Dr. Millwood joined the faculty of Saint Michael's College in Vermont where she is now a tenured professor and clinical supervisor. She teaches a course in marital therapy to graduate students earning their master's degrees in clinical psychology, and her popular undergraduate course, The Psychology of Marriage & Relationships. She has published research articles on marital distress in peer-reviewed scientific journals and has presented her work at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association and other national conferences. Dr. Millwood is also a licensed psychologist in private practice where she is particularly known for her work with couples and with women navigating the transition to parenthood. She was a founding member of Vermont's Postpartum Wellness Project, a community-based initiative to promote mental and physical wellness in new mothers through the services of a multidisciplinary team of practitioners. She lives in Vermont with her husband and two young children.

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