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CONTENTS BOOK I PAGE THE COMING OF PAN I BOOK II THE PHILOSOPHERS JOURNEY . . . . 95 BOOK III THE Two GODS . . . . . .143 BOOK IV THE PHILOSOPHERS RETURN . . . . ig BOOK V THE POLICEMEN . . . . . .195 BOOK VI THE THIN WOMANS JOURNEY AND THE HAPPY MARCH . . . . .265 BOOK I THE COMING OF PAN THE CROCK OF GOLD - CHAPTER I IN the centre of the pine wood called Coilla Doraca there lived not long ago two Philo- sophers. They were wiser than anything else in the world except the Salmon who lies in the pool of Glyn Cagny into which the nuts of knowledge fall from the hazel bush on its bank. He, of course, is the most profound of living creatures, but the two Philosophers are next to him in wisdom. Their faces looked as though they were made of parchment, there was ink under their nails, and every difficulty that was submitted to them, even by women, they were able to instantly resolve. The Grey Woman of Dun Gortin and the Thin Woman of Inis Magrath asked them the three questions which nobody had ever been able to answer, and they were able to answer them. That was how they obtained the enmity of these two women which is more valuable than the friendship of angels. The Grey Woman and the Thin Woman were so incensed at being answered that they married the two Philosophers in order to be able to pinch them in bed, but the skins of the Philosophers were so thick that they did not know they were being pinched. They repaid the fury of the women with such tender affection that these vicious creatures almost expired of chagrin, and once, in a very ecstasy of exasperation, after having been kissed by their husbands, they uttered the fourteen hundred maledictions which com- prised their wisdom, and thesewere learned by the Philosophers who thus became even wiser than before. In due process of time two children were born of these marriages. They were born on the same day and in the same hour, and they were only different in this, that one of them was a boy and the other one was a girl. Nobody was able to tell how this had happened, and, for the first time in their lives, the Philosophers were forced to admire an event which they had been unable to prognosticate but having proved bymanydifferent methods that the children were really children, that what must be must be, that a fact cannot be controverted, and that what has happened once may happen twice, they described the occurrence as extraordinary but not unnatural, and submitted peacefully to a Providence even wiser than they were. The Philosopher who had the boy was very pleased because, he said, there were too many women in the world, and the Philosopher who had the girl was very pleased also because, he said, you cannot have too much of a good thing the Grey Woman and the Thin Woman, however, were not in the least softened by maternity they said that they had not bargained for it, that the children were gotten under false pretences, that they were respectable married women, and that, as a protest against their wrongs, they would not cook any more food for the Philosophers. This was pleasant news for their husbands, who disliked the womens cooking very much, but they did not say so, for the women would certainly have insisted on their rights to cook had they imagined their husbands disliked the results therefore, the Philosophers besought their vives every day 5

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