Abandon Me: Memoirs

Author:   Melissa Febos
Publisher:   Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
ISBN:  

9781632866578


Pages:   320
Publication Date:   20 April 2017
Format:   Hardback
Availability:   In Print   Availability explained
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Abandon Me: Memoirs


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Overview

For readers of Maggie Nelson and Leslie Jamison, a fierce and dazzling personal narrative that explores the many ways identity and art are shaped by love and loss. In her critically acclaimed memoir, Whip Smart, Melissa Febos laid bare the intimate world of the professional dominatrix, turning an honest examination of her life into a lyrical study of power, desire, and fulfillment. In her dazzling Abandon Me, Febos captures the intense bonds of love and the need for connection -- with family, lovers, and oneself. First, her birth father, who left her with only an inheritance of addiction and Native American blood, its meaning a mystery. As Febos tentatively reconnects, she sees how both these lineages manifest in her own life, marked by compulsion and an instinct for self-erasure. Meanwhile, she remains closely tied to the sea captain who raised her, his parenting ardent but intermittent as his work took him away for months at a time. Woven throughout is the hypnotic story of an all-consuming, long-distance love affair with a woman, marked equally by worship and withdrawal. In visceral, erotic prose, Febos captures their mutual abandonment to passion and obsession -- and the terror and exhilaration of losing herself in another. At once a fearlessly vulnerable memoir and an incisive investigation of art, love, and identity, Abandon Me draws on childhood stories, religion, psychology, mythology, popular culture, and the intimacies of one writer's life to reveal intellectual and emotional truths that feel startlingly universal.

Full Product Details

Author:   Melissa Febos
Publisher:   Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
Imprint:   Bloomsbury Academic USA
Dimensions:   Width: 14.00cm , Height: 2.80cm , Length: 21.00cm
Weight:   0.508kg
ISBN:  

9781632866578


ISBN 10:   1632866579
Pages:   320
Publication Date:   20 April 2017
Audience:   General/trade ,  General
Format:   Hardback
Publisher's Status:   Active
Availability:   In Print   Availability explained
This item will be ordered in for you from one of our suppliers. Upon receipt, we will promptly dispatch it out to you. For in store availability, please contact us.

Table of Contents

Reviews

Anyone who's read Febos ... knows that her work explores boundaries as deftly as it defies categorization. In this new collection of essays, she once again obliterates convention with her erotically charged and intellectually astute recollections of family, relationships and the search for identity. Esquire No subject is off-limits to Febos. She authorizes her reader to be braver, to dig deeper into their own secrets and to research those secrets in history ... In her close reading and recording of her own life, Febos universalizes the pain of waiting ... with each new piece Febos bends time. The Rumpus Erotic and dark, the book is a courageous exploration of love as the ultimate form of plenitude and annihilation. A lyrically visceral memoir of love and loss. Kirkus Reviews Her mastery over metaphor is astonishing ... What might be mere navel-gazing for a less brilliant author is made powerfully universal here. Though the particulars are hers, just about anyone can relate to the feeling of a chasm opening up inside. Febos's awakening to her full identity, even its ugliness, is a powerful and redemptive epic. -- starred review Publishers Weekly It's easy to fall in love with Melissa Febos' gorgeous new memoir of short essays. Febos brings a relentless curiosity and startling intimacy to the page ... With her careful observations and introspection, she transcends isolation and captures the boundless nature of human emotion. Abandon Me is a fierce exploration of love and obsession, but it is something else as well--the story of woman who is unafraid to explore the harsh truths and choices that shape our lives. LAMBDA Literary A raw, brave work about truly knowing oneself. Library Journal [In this] collection of self-aware, stylish, autobiographical essays on love, addiction, and inheritance, Febos harnesses language, moods, actions, and settings with precision. A professor of creative writing, she stuns with sentences that are a credit to her craft and will no doubt inspire her readers. Booklist Febos's gifts as a writer seemingly increase with the types of subjects and themes that typically falter in the hands of many memoirists ... Febos transports, but her lyricism is always grounded in the now, in the sweet music of loss. The Millions Searing and eye-opening at every turn ... a must-read. The Huffington Post A frequently stunning book, dealing with questions of family, identity, and intimacy. Vol. 1 Brooklyn In her second book, Febos examines the many loves of her life--lovers as well as family--with her distinctive blend of lush language and relentless intelligence. -- Jackie Thomas-Kennedy Publishers Weekly Abandon Me proves unequivocally that there must be room in the literary canon for the complexity of women's stories on erotic fixation and loss. Bitch Magazine A delicious follow-up to the salacious stories of [Febos's] work as a dominatrix [Whip Smart]. Those new to her writing will be insatiable for more after digging into her new offering, which details the queer writer's relationship to love, loss and erotic addiction. Gomag.com A powerful, poignant meditation on not only the pain of loss but also the maddening, intoxicating, confusing and exhilarating effects of true human closeness. -- Meghan Daum, author of THE UNSPEAKABLE Abandon Me is a voluptuous book about the relationship between sex and surrender, desire and addiction, vulnerability and power. Febos unfolds her dark romance with erotic charge and sensuous poetry. -- Sarah Hepola, author of BLACKOUT It's rare to read a book as generous as it is genius. Febos intimately explores addiction, pain, pleasure, the uncontrollable character and the strangely joyful and terrifying nuances of abandonment. I don't know that I've ever felt more thankful to read a book. Abandon Me found me when I most needed it. -- Kiese Laymon, author of HOW TO SLOWLY KILL YOURSELF AND OTHERS IN AMERICA An intricately constructed and emotionally devastating book about the appearance and disappearance of love. Febos is a strikingly talented writer who pushes at the boundaries of her form and shows us just how amazing and expansive it can be. -- Jenny Offill, author of DEPT. OF SPECULATION Intellectual, erotic, and lyrical, this book arrives at emotional truths that startle and dazzle. Febos spares no one. And who would want to be spared such ravishing? -- John D'Agata, editor of THE MAKING OF THE AMERICAN ESSAY Riveting and heartbreaking and tough and passionate and beautiful and original; a tour de force. Melissa Febos weaves the personal and the universal together into a provocative, brilliant, incredibly moving examination of power and identity. -- Kate Christensen, author of BLUE PLATE SPECIAL Melissa Febos is the anthropologist and critic, the learned, dispassionate observer and the passionate advocate of her body's passage through time, space, and the woes and pleasures of contact with other humans. Abandon Me reflects an extraordinary range of both experience and understanding. -- Vijay Seshadri, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of 3 SECTIONS Melissa Febos is a deep, broad and fearless thinker. This hard-fought, hard-won, endlessly compelling, and elegant memoir teaches us that our traumas are not isolated, but in constant conversation with each other, and promises that if we listen carefully to their steady murmuring, we might find the means and the power to heal our lives. -- Pam Houston, author of CONTENTS MAY HAVE SHIFTED This book made me feel more than I was prepared to about desire and identity, as though it were an exquisite vivisection of what we politely call 'falling in love.' Febos's Abandon Me is extraordinarily written and unflinchingly bold. -- Nadia Bolz-Weber, author of ACCIDENTAL SAINTS No one tells it like Melissa Febos. Sensual, lyrical, raw, brave, and honest, Abandon Me is simply gorgeous. -- Ann Hood, NYT-bestselling author of THE KNITTING CIRCLE and AN ITALIAN WIFE


Her mastery over metaphor is astonishing ... What might be mere navel-gazing for a less brilliant author is made powerfully universal here. Though the particulars are hers, just about anyone can relate to the feeling of a chasm opening up inside. Febos's awakening to her full identity, even its ugliness, is a powerful and redemptive epic. -- starred review Publishers Weekly Erotic and dark, [Abandon Me] is a courageous exploration of love as the ultimate form of plenitude and annihilation. A lyrically visceral memoir of love and loss. Kirkus Reviews Self-aware, stylish, autobiographical essays ... Febos harnesses language, moods, actions, and settings with precision ... she stuns with sentences that are a credit to her craft and will no doubt inspire her readers. Booklist Searing and eye-opening at every turn, this memoir will be a must-read. -- 27 Nonfiction Books By Women Everyone Should Read This Year Huffington Post Explores boundaries as deftly as it defies categorization. [Febos] once again obliterates convention with her erotically charged and intellectually astute recollections of family, relationships and the search for identity. Esquire It's easy to fall in love with Melissa Febos' gorgeous new memoir of short essays. Febos brings a relentless curiosity and startling intimacy to the page ... With her careful observations and introspection, she transcends isolation and captures the boundless nature of human emotion. Abandon Me is a fierce exploration of love and obsession, but it is something else as well--the story of woman who is unafraid to explore the harsh truths and choices that shape our lives. Lambda Literary A powerful, poignant meditation on not only the pain of loss but also the maddening, intoxicating, confusing and exhilarating effects of true human closeness. -- Meghan Daum, author of THE UNSPEAKABLE Abandon Me is a voluptuous book about the relationship between sex and surrender, desire and addiction, vulnerability and power. Febos unfolds her dark romance with erotic charge and sensuous poetry. -- Sarah Hepola, author of BLACKOUT It's rare to read a book as generous as it is genius. Febos intimately explores addiction, pain, pleasure, the uncontrollable character and the strangely joyful and terrifying nuances of abandonment. I don't know that I've ever felt more thankful to read a book. Abandon Me found me when I most needed it. -- Kiese Laymon, author of HOW TO SLOWLY KILL YOURSELF AND OTHERS IN AMERICA An intricately constructed and emotionally devastating book about the appearance and disappearance of love. Febos is a strikingly talented writer who pushes at the boundaries of her form and shows us just how amazing and expansive it can be. -- Jenny Offill, author of DEPT. OF SPECULATION Intellectual, erotic, and lyrical, this book arrives at emotional truths that startle and dazzle. Febos spares no one. And who would want to be spared such ravishing? -- John D'Agata, editor of THE MAKING OF THE AMERICAN ESSAY Riveting and heartbreaking and tough and passionate and beautiful and original; a tour de force. Melissa Febos weaves the personal and the universal together into a provocative, brilliant, incredibly moving examination of power and identity. -- Kate Christensen, author of BLUE PLATE SPECIAL Melissa Febos is the anthropologist and critic, the learned, dispassionate observer and the passionate advocate of her body's passage through time, space, and the woes and pleasures of contact with other humans. Abandon Me reflects an extraordinary range of both experience and understanding. -- Vijay Seshadri, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of 3 SECTIONS Melissa Febos is a deep, broad and fearless thinker. This hard-fought, hard-won, endlessly compelling, and elegant memoir teaches us that our traumas are not isolated, but in constant conversation with each other, and promises that if we listen carefully to their steady murmuring, we might find the means and the power to heal our lives. -- Pam Houston, author of CONTENTS MAY HAVE SHIFTED This book made me feel more than I was prepared to about desire and identity, as though it were an exquisite vivisection of what we politely call 'falling in love.' Febos's Abandon Me is extraordinarily written and unflinchingly bold. -- Nadia Bolz-Weber, author of ACCIDENTAL SAINTS No one tells it like Melissa Febos. Sensual, lyrical, raw, brave, and honest, Abandon Me is simply gorgeous. -- Ann Hood, NYT-bestselling author of THE KNITTING CIRCLE and AN ITALIAN WIFE


Her mastery over metaphor is astonishing ... What might be mere navel-gazing for a less brilliant author is made powerfully universal here. Though the particulars are hers, just about anyone can relate to the feeling of a chasm opening up inside. Febos's awakening to her full identity, even its ugliness, is a powerful and redemptive epic. -- starred review Publishers Weekly Erotic and dark, [Abandon Me] is a courageous exploration of love as the ultimate form of plenitude and annihilation. A lyrically visceral memoir of love and loss. Kirkus Reviews Self-aware, stylish, autobiographical essays ... Febos harnesses language, moods, actions, and settings with precision ... she stuns with sentences that are a credit to her craft and will no doubt inspire her readers. Booklist A powerful, poignant meditation on not only the pain of loss but also the maddening, intoxicating, confusing and exhilarating effects of true human closeness. -- Meghan Daum, author of THE UNSPEAKABLE Abandon Me is a voluptuous book about the relationship between sex and surrender, desire and addiction, vulnerability and power. Febos unfolds her dark romance with erotic charge and sensuous poetry. -- Sarah Hepola, author of BLACKOUT It's rare to read a book as generous as it is genius. Febos intimately explores addiction, pain, pleasure, the uncontrollable character and the strangely joyful and terrifying nuances of abandonment. I don't know that I've ever felt more thankful to read a book. Abandon Me found me when I most needed it. -- Kiese Laymon, author of HOW TO SLOWLY KILL YOURSELF AND OTHERS IN AMERICA An intricately constructed and emotionally devastating book about the appearance and disappearance of love. Febos is a strikingly talented writer who pushes at the boundaries of her form and shows us just how amazing and expansive it can be. -- Jenny Offill, author of DEPT. OF SPECULATION Intellectual, erotic, and lyrical, this book arrives at emotional truths that startle and dazzle. Febos spares no one. And who would want to be spared such ravishing? -- John D'Agata, editor of THE MAKING OF THE AMERICAN ESSAY Riveting and heartbreaking and tough and passionate and beautiful and original; a tour de force. Melissa Febos weaves the personal and the universal together into a provocative, brilliant, incredibly moving examination of power and identity. -- Kate Christensen, author of BLUE PLATE SPECIAL Melissa Febos is the anthropologist and critic, the learned, dispassionate observer and the passionate advocate of her body's passage through time, space, and the woes and pleasures of contact with other humans. Abandon Me reflects an extraordinary range of both experience and understanding. -- Vijay Seshadri, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of 3 SECTIONS Melissa Febos is a deep, broad and fearless thinker. This hard-fought, hard-won, endlessly compelling, and elegant memoir teaches us that our traumas are not isolated, but in constant conversation with each other, and promises that if we listen carefully to their steady murmuring, we might find the means and the power to heal our lives. -- Pam Houston, author of CONTENTS MAY HAVE SHIFTED This book made me feel more than I was prepared to about desire and identity, as though it were an exquisite vivisection of what we politely call 'falling in love.' Febos's Abandon Me is extraordinarily written and unflinchingly bold. -- Nadia Bolz-Weber, author of ACCIDENTAL SAINTS No one tells it like Melissa Febos. Sensual, lyrical, raw, brave, and honest, Abandon Me is simply gorgeous. -- Ann Hood, NYT-bestselling author of THE KNITTING CIRCLE and AN ITALIAN WIFE


Her mastery over metaphor is astonishing ... What might be mere navel-gazing for a less brilliant author is made powerfully universal here. Though the particulars are hers, just about anyone can relate to the feeling of a chasm opening up inside. Febos's awakening to her full identity, even its ugliness, is a powerful and redemptive epic. -- starred review Publishers Weekly A powerful, poignant meditation on not only the pain of loss but also the maddening, intoxicating, confusing and exhilarating effects of true human closeness. -- Meghan Daum, author of THE UNSPEAKABLE Abandon Me is a voluptuous book about the relationship between sex and surrender, desire and addiction, vulnerability and power. Febos unfolds her dark romance with erotic charge and sensuous poetry. -- Sarah Hepola, author of BLACKOUT It's rare to read a book as generous as it is genius. Febos intimately explores addiction, pain, pleasure, the uncontrollable character and the strangely joyful and terrifying nuances of abandonment. I don't know that I've ever felt more thankful to read a book. Abandon Me found me when I most needed it. -- Kiese Laymon, author of HOW TO SLOWLY KILL YOURSELF AND OTHERS IN AMERICA An intricately constructed and emotionally devastating book about the appearance and disappearance of love. Febos is a strikingly talented writer who pushes at the boundaries of her form and shows us just how amazing and expansive it can be. -- Jenny Offill, author of DEPT. OF SPECULATION Intellectual, erotic, and lyrical, this book arrives at emotional truths that startle and dazzle. Febos spares no one. And who would want to be spared such ravishing? -- John D'Agata, editor of THE MAKING OF THE AMERICAN ESSAY Riveting and heartbreaking and tough and passionate and beautiful and original; a tour de force. Melissa Febos weaves the personal and the universal together into a provocative, brilliant, incredibly moving examination of power and identity. -- Kate Christensen, author of BLUE PLATE SPECIAL Melissa Febos is the anthropologist and critic, the learned, dispassionate observer and the passionate advocate of her body's passage through time, space, and the woes and pleasures of contact with other humans. Abandon Me reflects an extraordinary range of both experience and understanding. -- Vijay Seshadri, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of 3 SECTIONS Melissa Febos is a deep, broad and fearless thinker. This hard-fought, hard-won, endlessly compelling, and elegant memoir teaches us that our traumas are not isolated, but in constant conversation with each other, and promises that if we listen carefully to their steady murmuring, we might find the means and the power to heal our lives. -- Pam Houston, author of CONTENTS MAY HAVE SHIFTED This book made me feel more than I was prepared to about desire and identity, as though it were an exquisite vivisection of what we politely call 'falling in love.' Febos's Abandon Me is extraordinarily written and unflinchingly bold. -- Nadia Bolz-Weber, author of ACCIDENTAL SAINTS No one tells it like Melissa Febos. Sensual, lyrical, raw, brave, and honest, Abandon Me is simply gorgeous. -- Ann Hood, NYT-bestselling author of THE KNITTING CIRCLE and AN ITALIAN WIFE


Author Information

Melissa Febos is the author of the memoir Whip Smart. Portions from Abandon Me have won prizes from Prairie Schooner, StoryQuarterly, and the Center for Women Writers, and twice earned notice in the 2015 Best American Essays anthology. Febos serves on the executive board of VIDA: Women in Literary Arts, and is an assistant professor of creative writing at Monmouth University and on the M.F.A. faculty at the Institute of American Indian Arts. She lives in Brooklyn. melissafebos.com

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